AboutDanielle Expertise I can answer questions regarding medical and surgical abortion, questions about abortion in general, like moral and religious issues concerning the procedure. I'm happy to answer questions, have discussions, and provide further information, like pro-choice websites and organizations.
Experience I have people close to me who have gotten abortions, I know the current abortion issues, and I have researched abortion in depth for a long time.
Question Hi. What is your response to the argument that if a woman didn't want to get pregnant, she should never have "opened her legs" or had sex? The other day a heated debate broke out in my religion class about abortion, and I stood up to a guy who was bashing women who had abortions. I tried to explain that accidents happen, and that we shouldn't judge people. That was his response. IT hurt me because i had an abortion. He had made it sound like all women who have them are "sluts". I am not one. I was and still am in a committed, loving relationship with my boyfriend of three years. It hurt and angered me, but I didn't know how to respond. Why is it that men are never called "sluts" or condemned for having sex, but if a woman enjoys sex she is a whore who deserves to be punished? It doesn't seem fair to me. Thank you.
Amy
Answer Hi Amy :)
You have every right to be hurt and angered, what he said is completely ignorant and just plain wrong. I often get angered by the same exact comments. Wherever you go, stupid things are going to be said. He needs to grasp the concept that sex is natural, probably the most natural thing ever between two humans; but too many people don't realize this. The "open her legs" thing is just crap, really. How about the guy keeps it in his pants?
Congrats to standing up to the guy, it's a hard thing to do on such a subject. You're right-accidents have happened, do happen, and WILL happen. And not everyone has the tools to prevent pregnancy, with the soaring costs of birth control, and even that isn't 100%, nor are condoms.
Ugh, the word slut just bothers me SO much. Like you said- women get called names for having sex (heaven forbid she enjoys it, too!) and men don't. It's wrong, sexist, and apparently the accepted norm. It's NOT fair, at all, and i wish so badly more people would see that. Like, it's celebrated when men have sex, and lose their virginity, but when a girl does, she's "impure".
Don't take what people like him say to heart, chances are a friend or girlfriend in the future will have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. It's extremely common, and abortion is an option for women whether he likes it or not.
Many women find themselves in your situation- committed, loving relationship, and an unwanted pregnancy. Things happen. Bring up that the woman sure didn't get pregnant on her own, and the male was most likely not forced into the act, and he should know and be prepared for consequences as well. Sex is built into human nature-it's going to happen.
Everything you wrote to me is completely perfect to say, really. When forced to hear things like that, people don't know how to respond, because what you're saying is true. So just ignore them, but if you ever need to stand up to one again, you already know the perfect words :)
