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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Women's Health > Abortion - Pro Choice Views > Feelings of guilt and shame after an abortion
Expert: Doctor Joan
Date: 10/19/2007
Subject: Feelings of guilt and shame after an abortion
Question
Hi there. I know that you are a medical doctor, so I am not sure whether this is within your range of expertise. My question is regarding feelings of guilt and shame after an abortion. I have always been pro-choice, and supported a woman's right to choose, so when I became pregnant unexpectedly I booked an appointment at a clinic, without hesitation. I felt that it was my right.
Well, shortly afterward I entered into a discussion with a family member about abortion. I assumed that she too was pro-choice, but it turns out she was not! She launched into a diatribe about how women who have abortions are selfish, promiscuous, irresponsible etc and should be ashamed of themselves. She then went on to talk about her experiences with pregnancy and childbirth, and said that anyone who had ever seen an ultrasound or carried a "child" within their womb, could NEVER have an abortion. She said it was MURDER. Afterwards, I felt awful! She made me feel so ashamed, as though I had done something wrong. And now I am wondering if I did. Is abortion really murder? She made me feel like a terrible person, and I have been feeling quite depressed about it ever since. I now wish I had never had that discussion. Thank you.
Sincerely,
April
Answer
April,
I love the work I do with women to end early pregnancies. I meet normal, decent, caring women day in and day out, who, for whatever reason, don't want to have a baby at that point in their life. About half of the women who see me are mothers. I myself had had several abortions, and have two wonderful children - one of whom I raised single through medical school. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made. I deeply respect a woman's right to choose when she is wants to become a mother as it is a wonderful and all consuming job for the rest of your life. You want to go into that decision wanting a child and able to be excited about it. I see many women who are against abortion who when they are in certain situations, decide to have an abortion and then regret that they had such strong judgmental concerns against other women. I hope this is helpful,
Doctor Joan
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