AboutDanielle Expertise I can answer questions regarding medical and surgical abortion, questions about abortion in general, like moral and religious issues concerning the procedure. I'm happy to answer questions, have discussions, and provide further information, like pro-choice websites and organizations.
Experience I have people close to me who have gotten abortions, I know the current abortion issues, and I have researched abortion in depth for a long time.
Question QUESTION: Hello Danielle,
I’m 22 years old
I’m pregnant since 5 weeks
I want to lose my baby
Wrong man, wrong timing, wrong financials and wrong social circumstances
Abortion is not an easy or safe operation here in my country; abortion pills aren’t legal as well.
I thought about taking medicines that are forbidden for pregnant women to take as it causes abortion, I know it may effect on my health so badly but I have no choice.
What’s your opinion about that? If you support me in this; can you tell me some names of these medicines? I found one, its name is roaccutan, it is taken for acne and it causes abortion if I took over than 80 mg one time. I haven’t tried it yet.
It causes extreme depression too, and here is my second question; what can I do to all these awful feelings I have? About being pregnant & about planning for abortion, I’m depressed Danielle, I feel I’m a very bad girl; an awful mother, a loser, a criminal. Why that has happened to me? I took good care not to allow such thing to be happened and I don’t know exactly how or when that happened! I regret that so much. I can’t concentrate in my work and lost the ability of eating. My partner doesn’t care about the problem we face and he has left me to handle the problem as the way I prefer (as he said). I feel lonely I feel angry I feel it is a nigh mare that believe me, will never end even if I lost my baby.
Please reply to me as soon as possible,
Thank you.
ANSWER: Hi Yasmine :)
Even when you take precaution to prevent a pregnancy, it unfortunately can still happen. You are one of many women in the same situation. My words may not help, but I can 100% reassure you that you are in no way a bad mother. A bad mother abuses her child; and even then, there can be explainable reasons. You are a great mother for the fact you are taking care of yourself, and the embryo. You are making sure it does not live an unhappy life.
You're not bad, you're responsible. It'd be bad if you had a child you couldn't care for. No, not a loser nor a criminal. In the US, where i am, many, MANY women got illegal abortions. They saved their own lives and those of others; yet at the same time too many died becuase of the unsafe conditions associated with illegalized abortion.
You're partner should've stayed by you to help you through this, but we all make bad decisions. I can tell you though, the most common emotion associated after terminating a pregnancy is relief.
I think you're talking about roaccuatane? There's definitely a chance of miscarriage, but not definite. And there's a bigger chance of it just causing fetal abnormalities, which now that i think of it, would probably cause your body to reject the embryo. I don't know of other medications aside from the legalized ones that cause a miscarriage, but I'd be happy to look them up for you.
Is there any way to find out the names of the other medications?If it comes down to having no other choice, try the roaccutane. Since you won't be taking it for long, don't worry about the depression. But the best way to get help for those awful feelings you have is to talk to someone. A friend, therapist, counselor, me, whoever you want. I'm always here if you have anymore questions or concerns.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hi Danielle
All the past days I was thinking about your words
yes, pills aren't insure the abortion, specially that here in Egypt we don't have strong pills, we have local pills that cause death to the baby without pushing it out of my body, so yesterday I went to a clinic and met a doctor who said the same thing and I decided to have surgical abortion operation the day after tomorrow (Tuesday) he said it will take only 5 minutes and I will be out of the hospital immediately. Disregarding the high cost of the operation to me, I’m dieing afraid Danielle, I’m afraid it may cause me death, as you said "too many died because of the unsafe conditions associated with illegalized abortion", but I have no choice am I? I’m scared; I haven’t been in any operations or even entered the hospital for any reasons before…
Danielle tell me, if god saved me not to die, will I be able to be pregnant again in the future?
Thank you so much for your words, they really made me smile, and I haven’t been smiling for weeks. Yes, I want to save my baby form suffering, I want the best dad and the best life for him.
Do you think my baby has an ID at god now? Do u think when I die I can see him up there and he will blame me for killing him? Now he’s in the 6th week.
Another thing, please prey to god to save my life and to forgive me, I’m afraid to die, I will email you immediately after the operation if it succeeded, if you found no emails from me, that’s mean I’m dead.
Thank you so much for your help and time,
God bless you.
Yasmine
Answer Hey again :)
good! A surgical abortion is a very safe procedure. And yea, a very quick operation.
If he's an actual doctor, which it sounds like, who works in a clinic, don't be afraid. When I mentioned the deaths from illegal abortions, they were performed by people who didn't have a damn clue what they were doing; just some random guy who decided to make some money and perform an abortion in his dirty apartment. You're getting one in a clinic/hospital, you will be safe.
Actually, there were quite a few illegal abortions done in hospitals some 40 years ago here, and they were done safely and by a doctor who knew what he or she was doing, and wanted to help a woman out.
There's always a risk of death with any operation, whether it be abortion or a tooth extraction. However, abortion is one of the safest medical procedures. 13 times safer than childbirth. While the doctor is performing the operation, he'll know if something goes wrong, and will be able to help you. I can assure you, not much can go wrong in 5 minutes when all he has to do is dilate your cervix, suction out the embryo, and double check to make sure the pregnancy is completely terminated.
Being in a hospital can be nerve racking, but as someone who has been there a few times, the people who work there will do everything to make sure you are ok and safe.
Oh yes. It's extremely rare that an abortion will prevent future pregnancy. It would have to be performed by someone with no medical history and whatnot. Infertility from abortion is extremely, extremely rare. You will definitely be able to become pregnant again in the future. I know of women who get pregnant again within a month of their abortion. Actually, someone very close to me had an illegal operation done here in the U.S. at a clinic, and went on to have two healthy and successful children.
I'm glad :) You will feel much better when the procedure is over with. If you want your baby to, then yes he does. And of course he won't blame you, God will explain to him that what you did saved him from what could've been a bad life, and that you, his mom, was very strong and brave. He can have a better life now, and will welcome you when you pass away, and can reunite if you want to.
I will definitely, definitely pray for you and keep you in my thoughts. God will look out for you, and he will forgive you. He knows you made the best decision for you and your baby, and they both will welcome you one day, and watch out for you during your procedure. It's much too soon for you to die, and I'm sure God knows that. You'll have quite a few people watching out and hoping for a safe procedure :)
Thank you, I definitely want to know how it went. Just remember, the doctor isn't doing a procedure too complex, so the risk of death is low. It will be painful somewhat, but in the end, it's the best thing for everyone involved. Good luck, and God bless.
