Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 1/1/2008

Question
James,
I a just out of an 8 year relationship with a guy who was a lovely person in many ways, very kind gentle etc. However, on a few occasions, I woke up to find him touching me in my sleep. I am a very deep sleeper and this made me worried and scared about what was happening while I was unconcious. I confronted him the first time and he didnt see what was wrong with it and couldnt see what the fuss was about. several years later when it happened again, he said he was awake when he did it but sort of sleepy and didnt really know what he was doing. Looking back, i think this contributed to the end of our relationship as i lost trust in him and went off sex. Was his behaviour normal? am I a prude for for reacting in this way? I wuld be really interested in a male opinion

thanks for your help

Answer
Dear Barbara

It is up to you to decide how and when someone touches you. Many women find it erotic to wake up to their lover's touch. There is no right or wrong. If he could not respect your boundaries, it is not surprising the relationship did not last.