AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I can answer questions directly related to your challenging relationships. I will give you a straight forward answer to what I think the problem is.
Experience I have the experience needed to help you sort out how to work through your relationship. I meet weekly with people who have challenging relationships so let me help you!
Organizations AAMFT;AACC
Education/Credentials B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy
Question I am feeling just very alone and awful at the moment. I am very unsure about my relationship with my fiance. He does not seem to care about me at all and I feel very hurt and alone. I have tried to talkt to him but I don't seem to get through.
We had plans to have an early dinner last night. I prepared dinner the night before and put it in the slow cooker to be ready at 5pm.
At 3pm my fiances friend called asking him to go and help him lift some drywall. While he was on his way he said he'd pick up a couple things at the store on his way home.
By 6:30 I hadn't heard from him and I called his cell. He said he still wasn't done and he'd be around an hour. I reminded him he was the one who'd wanted the early dinner and it had been ready now for 1 1/2 hours and he said he wouldn't be done for another hour. I asked him to hurry and to call me. At 7:45 I still hadn't heard from him so I called back. He said he'd just finished and was having a beer. I was quite upset. He came home at 8:30 and said very sarcastically: so I guess you're mad at me. I tried to explain that he had hurt my feelings and that I felt very hurt when he blew off plans with me when he knew I was waiting and that I'd made a big meal for a time that he'd specified.
He told me repeatedly that he didn't do anything wrong, he was just helping his friend. I told him I thought that he was being selfish and rude to not even call & then to sit and have a couple beer when he knew I was waiting.
He started getting really angry and called me a bitch and a baby, then pulled one of the blinds off the window, ripped it apart and threw it across the room to where I was sitting on the couch. He threw a couple other things around in the kitchen and called me some more names. I started saying that he was acting childish and hurtful. He kept saying I was being a bitch and I said that he was being emotionally abusive to me and I did not deserve to be treated like that, he just shrugged and laughed it off. He said it was all my fault that I was just being such a bitch.
Then later I just sat on the couch and cried for an hour or two and he sat on the other couch watching tv.
I went to the bedroom and sat up for hours crying and feeling awful.
This morning I woke up and he got up from the spare room. I have been feeling terrible all day and just very quiet. He had thrown the blind pieces by the door as if he was going to put them in the garbage. I picked them up and laid them out on the living room floor (they are irreplacable and need to be repaired). Over the last couple hours he's said things like, do you want some supper? I don't say too much: either yes or no. He hasn't tried to apologize to me and I believe that I deserve one.
Answer Janice,
Wow...I am confused. At what point did you consider his behavior ok enough that you would decide to stay in a relationship with him. You can do what you like since you are an adult, but I would suggest you leave this relationship. It is pretty obvious right? You just want an apology from him????? People get arrested for what he did. I strongly suggest you leave this relationship. It will not get better.
David
www.help4life.net
