AboutNafeesah Expertise I can answer just about anything on abusive relationships, but I can't give legal advice on how to get out of one that's something you need to speak with a counselor trained and certified to deal with domestic violence issues to get resources in pursuing legal recourse.
Experience I have been in abusive relationships and I have shared my experience in helping others to get out of these types of relationships. I was in two abusive relationships one lasting nearly 2 years and the other just over 5 years.
Education/Credentials Associates degree, bachelors degree, and I am a certified nursing assistant
Question My boyfriend, 27 and i,19, have been dating for eight months, and living together for five of them. When we first started dating he was absolutely the most perfect boyfriend a girl could ask for- we had fun together and respected and loved each other beyond words.
Once we moved in together he started getting more distant and less receiving of my affections. He started playing an online game pretty steadily. He also started going through my phone and readng all my texts and call logs, and telling me who i could and could not talk to
Last night, we were at a party and he got angry with me for losing my cell phone. He hit a guy in the face (the guy just asked what was wrong), threw me on the ground, and left. He came back later, made me get into his car, and drove around calling me a 'cunt' and a 'tramp'. I have never cheated on him, or shown attention to anyone else. He slapped me around and bit me on the face when i argued with him.
I broke up with him this morning, but the problem is, I still love him. Did I do the right thing? Should I give him another chance? I dont know what to do- I want things to be the way they used to... he has never hurt me before, until last night. I don't know how to handle this.
Answer The minute a man puts his hands on you it's time to let him go and moving in with him was a mistake because the percentage of women being abused by a partner who lives with them is 3 times higher than a woman who's married. You're 19 you're barely in the prime of your adult life and your boyfriend is 27 he's probably had many relationships for someone his age. I think you're better off living by yourself or with a roommate and the next guy you date maintain your own place living together is only trouble for a woman. If he started acting weird from checking cell phones and assaulting people this is not good because had you gotten married he would have done the same thing which could have been involving a weapon. Get out of this because emotional and physical abuse is something you don't need in your life for someone as young as you are. Have you began moving out and into your own place since you did the right thing by leaving him and giving him another chance absolutely NOT. I wouldnt try to rationalize abuse it's not worth the energy. Focus your energy on getting your life back together.
