AboutDr.Sunu Sundar Expertise I can answer questions related to sexually abusive relationships in families.
I can effectively deal with victims of abusive relationship. I am also efficient in dealing with child abuse and incest.
I am here to help others who have questions related to above said issues.
Experience I have been a dealing with victims of sexual abuse since 2000.I have dealt with many teenagers who suffered abusive relationships. Listening to victims of incest and child sexual abuse has made me a better counsellor in dealing with these issues.
Publications I have been writing on psychological issues in a Tamil monthly magazine called 'KULANTHAIGAL PARALUMANTAM'
Education/Credentials I have a Master degree in Psychology. I also have another Master degree in Sociology. I have taken intense training from the Jesuits for seven years in the field of Personality, Self, Discipline and Morality.
Question This is in response to the additional information u wanted
1) I filed for divorce in August 2008, around 2-3 weeks after leaving my husband.
2) My husband sometimes overeats, and at other times eats very little (when he is dieting). He eats a lot when he is drunk.
3) He has been out of work since april 2008.
4) He sleeps around 10-10:30. Sometimes gets up early in the morning (at round 3:00 a.m), and after sometime sleeps again. Anyway, he is awake by around 7:00.
I have been married for a year now to a man I have known and been in love with for almost 6 years. We are both 25 years of age. He was very sweet for about one year after we fell in love after which he started controlling me in small ways such as asking me to not go out with my friends and that I should return at a particular time, or phone him at a particular time. (we were both in different colleges in different states, and we mostly contacted each other via mail and phone calls). I did not attach a lot of importance to these matters, thinking he was just being over protective and possessive. However, as time went on, the degree of his control increased and I realized that he even doubted me though I was faithful to him in every way
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Indu
Answer Dear Indu,
You say,
"..However, as time went on, the degree of his control increased and I realized that he even doubted me though I was faithful to him in every way.."
Psychology sees the doubts and tortures of a man towards his wife in different angles. In married life one of the prominent angles is that due to husband's inadequacy to satisfy his wife sexually he turns violent, doubting and accusative.
2-Another angle is a surge of a negative feeling in a man that he chose a wrong partner.
3-Due to husband's relation with another woman and guilt incurred due to the same
5-When the husband discovers the 'weaknesses' of his wife and finds that he is unable to cope up with his wife's weaknesses.
6-He finds that his resource of love towards his wife is dry and unable to generate love towards wife.
7-Eventually husband discovers about himself that it was not of genuine love but because of an attraction with infatuation he was 'trapped' to enter a married relationship with his wife.
I belive you will know which category in the above said he belongs to.
Can you consider a divorce?
If not why?
OR
Are you willing to live with him enduring tortures?
What guarante is there that he will change and become a good hubby?
Are emotions clouding in you and hindering you to think logically?
Further guidance after hearing from you.
You may reach me also through placladoc@yahoo.co.in
