AboutNafeesah Expertise I can answer just about anything on abusive relationships, but I can't give legal advice on how to get out of one that's something you need to speak with a counselor trained and certified to deal with domestic violence issues to get resources in pursuing legal recourse.
Experience I have been in abusive relationships and I have shared my experience in helping others to get out of these types of relationships. I was in two abusive relationships one lasting nearly 2 years and the other just over 5 years.
Education/Credentials Associates degree, bachelors degree, and I am a certified nursing assistant
Question QUESTION: i love my husband so much, i left everything i had, my career, my country, my friends family. i move to some other place where we both enjoy the very luxurious life, he is kind and careing.after 5 years i am very tired. i feel i need some friends its not him i should on hangout and i miss my family. he would tell not to talk to them and ask often what mom says what my sisters say.. so and on.and he would now listen to my phone secretly and he would check my e.mail address and msn. time to time he would ask who that person and will want to know each and all my friends. now i feel this is going too much. he is all changed man now. and i tell u i am living with my kids and with 2 maids normally. few times i meet people, but i do talk to my family on Internet. right now i want to move out from him .cux he don't want me to do anything not that i start business or study. he think i would be seeing man and its not right he says. he took my phone cux one of my friend sums me. just a hi' and cux he is a man. he also threw my laptop and i had to stay without Internet, that really drive me crazy. i use Internet and that only my true friend. through a friend i met this young boy, i share some of my life story with him, he jokes saying that my husband is not in love with me and he use me for sex and he lives most of the time away working and he comes to have sex with me. now i hardly kiss him now . after talking to him i feel that he may be right, but he may not be. this guy seems to read me and i am afraid that something somewhere could go wrong with him as if my husband ever come to know why i am so changed and why i hate to make those love with him now ... i am so confused! pls tell me what should i do? i just need to live like others. i need to breath
ANSWER: This sounds like you're being abused if your husband's resorted to taking your phone and controlling who you could and couldnt talk to. I think you have a lot of things to decide on what you need to do because if you stay things won't get any better. If you leave you have a chance to make a new life for yourself. If you left everything you had for this man and this is how he treats you there's some changes that have to be made and you're needing to really think about what you need to do in order to have some quality of life. You need to consider leaving this relationship since this is abuse and you shouldnt have to take this from anyone not even your husband.
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QUESTION: i know. someone need to be very strong to do that, but belive me deep down my husband knows that i wouldn't be able to make it my own now. after all these years i have no friends. and with my kids for me being a single mom is not easy thing. i have no way outfor sure. but being with him i m going no where.. i am afraid of falling in love again. but i know finding someone to love is no problem
Answer You always have a way out don't tell yourself that. You can make new friends and make a new life for yourself. I don't know how much education you have and what kind of job skills you posess. You can go move in with trusted family to get back on your feet. You can start over again. I did it after I lost a lot of things having been in a relationship with a guy who abused me as well, but he told me I was nothing without him and I stood against that and didnt believe him.
Here it is almost 3 years later and I am doing great without him he's the one who's suffering since he'll call and try to manipulate his way back into the picture and the stupid thing is that I gained new and old friends back when I left him. Your husband has you psychologically imprisoned and has you believing that you have nothing.
You got something out there if you have family that's been there for you reach out to them and begin to put together a plan for you and your kids and get some idea of what you need to do for employment and possibly going back to school. If myself and countless other women can walk away from abusive relationships and marriages so can you, it's not hard to do. You have to tell yourself that you can do it and you'll make it. It will be hard at first, but it will get easier as time goes by.
