AboutAzure Expertise can answer all relationship questions involving unhealthy, addictive, or otherwise unhappy arrangements, except those involving the legalities of physical abuse..
Experience see bio under "general dating questions"
Question Hi, im 18 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for three years. i had his child when i was a junior in high school. When we got about 6 months into our relationship thats when the
hitting started. I had strict rules i had to follow like i cant wear shorts, show cleavage, wear red, no physical contact with guys, cant hang out with my friends without his permission, cant go anywhere
unless hes there to watch me and be the best i can be. Hes the type of guys where if he doesnt
get what he wants he will get angry and rebel (even towards his parents)and if he get what he wants, hes sweet as a baby but if i dont give him what he wants i have to face the consequences
basically i have to suffer to make him happy. He hates my friends, my family, my religon, and anyones who keeps me away from him. We went to highschool together, and hes also abusive in public. He will hit me outside of a place or inside or yell at me whenever hes gets heated. He got in trouble and suspended twice in high school from abusing me
and almost got expeld from previous suspensions. The first one
was in my sophomore year, when he physically force me out of school for dying my hair and wearing shorts, he dragged me about three
blocks until someone called the school security and catch up with us on an alley and hang cuff him and got him suspended, i pressed no charges and let him go and thats when my family hated him and people in school knew, sometimes students will see me crying
while im walking besides him cause he either verbally or physically abusive me and it was embarassing.
The second one is when i ran out of sweaters and is was so cold outside so all i had was a red sweater. In the morning when i arrived to school he was pissed and took off my sweater and threw
it in the trash. i cried and i was so cold, so i pinched him cause i was angry and he pull my finger back til i heard a pop. Then my friends encourage me to go to the principal and tell him, so i did. He got suspended again.
He will always make me feel like shit even though he tells me he loves me very much and that im the only girl for him and hes very sorry that he hurt me. Even when i was pregnant he would still abusive me.
He would wish that our child is dead and that would hurt me soo deep inside. Cause of course i want this child. He took one of my extra keys, and this one time he came to my house when i was home alone
and i made him mad the day before and he got on top of me and punched me all over. then he forced me downstairs but i refused cus i was so scared then he pushed me downstairs while i was still pregnant
and i fell.. i cried then he cried and said he was very sorry, of course i forgave him.. my friends hate him and my family disapproves cause of his past and that he doesnt work and hes not in college to help
support our child and me. umm.. this one time he went too far is when i mad him really mad this one time when we ditched school and we went to his house and outside he punched my head and he force me
into the car cause i wouldn't stop screaming, then he banged my head on the window and punch me in the head again.. my mouth and nose started bleeding and i couldn't breath cause i was so tired of crying
and overheated from the weather. Last time he didn't hit me for like 3 months cause he made a commitment that he will try to become a better person. but it stopped when i made him really angry for not sleeping over
and he slapped me. His family is perfect, there always happy, they work hard, and they love me and i love them, but i don't understand how he turned up like this with such a happy family. Like every abusive
relationship i received death threats, kicked, punched, slapped, bruised, bleeded, choked, you name it.. even my friends, teachers, family, his family, kids from school know hes abusive and self centered. I
love him soo much, that i let him have his child. If i didnt love him i would have aborted our baby but i didnt cause i thought we can be a good family and that he can change. Sometimes his reasons
for hitting me is i deserved it, im acting stupid, i break his promises, he cant control his anger and he takes it on me. I hit him too in defense but he always hit twice as hardonce in awhile he would yell at me in front of our son
(1yr&3months) and slap me and he would just sit and watch a laugh cause he doesnt know whats going on, and my son likes to slap and hit his little cousins, and i think he got it from his dads bad habits,
and im scared that hes going to and up like his father. Sometimes i get soo scared when he threatens to beat the shit out of me and i start to shake and pray in my heart from him to stop. Sometimes im so scared for the
future that one day he might go overboard and accidenly take my life away.. cause it does happen, you know.For my sake and importantly my sons sake... what should i do? should i try to get help or should i help him. I love him but me loving him is making me suffer inside..
and im tired of crying and im tired praying for change in him...
Answer why are you still with him, and don't tell me it's "love", because then the question is, what is the matter with you that you would love someone that treats you like shit?..totally unfair ratings, not to mention, a 1 for timliness---give me a break..you should have paid attention to the fact that the answer questioned why on earth you'd still be with a guy that not only is abusive, but really should be jailed based on charges brought up by YOU..the only change will be him getting WORSE...this is the environment you want a child to live in?...that's pretty sad...wake up, make a plan to leave, leave..and stop abusing experts who tell you the obvious..
