AboutEugenia Springer, Ph.D. Expertise I can answer your questions on how to stop being a victim, and/or how to stop being an abuser. My ability to help you, however, would depend on your willingness to assume full responsibility for helping yourself.
Experience From the 1970s to the present, my life has been a search after knowing my purpose, knowing myself, and knowing God. I talk about this search in my 2002 book, "Further Insights Into the Journey".
After years of teaching biology at university, I became a radio Family Life Counselor, and a newspaper columnist, responding to callers on radio, and replying to letters from the public, in the newspapers.
My book for the adolescent girl, "Girl, It's All About You"(Review & Herald Publishers 1980, and out of print) was my attempt to marry my field of training--biology, and my adoptive field--interpersonal relationships.
"Further Insights Into the Journey" is about my search for personal freedom--a search for freedom from external controls; for freedom from fear. Through very instructive experiences, many sorely trying, I uncovered that freedom within me, and found myself progressively experiencing increasingly greater measures of peace.
To get your copy of "Further Insights Into The Journey" email me at hftpproductions@tstt.net.tt.
Currently I am the host and producer of two weekly call-in radio programs. You can access our station online at www.power102fm.com. My programs are:
(1) "Life & Living/Soul to Soul", Wednesdays, 11:00 AM to 12:00 Noon; and
(2) DIALOGUE, Wednesdays 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM. DIALOGUE connects our national radio audience with our Trinidad & Tobago/Caribbean Diaspora, and other listeners beyond our shores.
Access Dialogue by going to www.power102fm.com from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM local Trinidad and Tobago time on Wednesday nights. Communicate with callers and studio personnel through our message board; or call any of the four telephone numbers listed: Toronto, London, Miami, and New York. Call through the number nearest you.
.
I am in a situation where I need some clarity about what I am facing. To keep this short, a person i know that is close to me, has in the past been a sexual molester, and abuser towards his wife. He know longer abuses his wife but has had some "sexual" type thoughts in his head. He is a older man (71 years of age). This person has always been good to me, yet I am facing issues of trusting him and being concerned that I can get hurt. Part of me feels sympathetic for this person, especially since he is older and lonely most of the time. I try to be civil with this person yet I am cautious for keeping myself safe around him. He recently had an episode of a sexual matter that bothered me. My concerns are to keep this person for doing anything "stupid" to anyone. He recently harassed my neighbor with a sex type note. I feel he needs help but he sees nothing wrong with what he did. I am not sure what type of steps I can take to help an older person who basically doesn't care anymore about what happens to him or other people. I feel like it may come to a point where he will get into trouble for his actions and then suffer the consequences. Any advice for my troubling thoughts?
Thank you
Answer Vanessa,
This older man you care about has a history of being a sexual molester and a spouse abuser, and though the spousal abuse has come to an end, the sexual molestation has not ended. Not only has it not ended, this gentleman seems to have given up on ending his reputation as a sex molester. From what you are saying he no longer cares--not about himself, and definitely not about potential victims.
But you like him. He is close to you. You can see the beauty in him, but even you need to be careful, to be wary. If his heart is unregenerate, what can you do? Well, there is one thing you can do. You can direct him to some place where he can obtain help. If he refuses to get help you would have no alternative but to leave him to the consequences of his behavior.
