AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I can answer questions directly related to your challenging relationships. I will give you a straight forward answer to what I think the problem is.
Experience I have the experience needed to help you sort out how to work through your relationship. I meet weekly with people who have challenging relationships so let me help you!
Organizations AAMFT;AACC
Education/Credentials B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy
Question Hi
I hope you can help me.I dated this guy about a year back.We dated for only a couple weeks.It kinda just faded and then we became great friends.My mom loved him and so did my sister.We spent alot of time together.We had alot of fun times together as friends.During this time he was going to college to become an EMT.He failed on that.Then gradually he moved away.And I moved on.About a year passed.Well just last week I decided to look him up on myspace and I found him.I wrote to him.He replied back with call me.Everything was good.We started talking.Hes in the marines now stationed in Hawaii.Then three days after we started talking he said will you marry me.i never gave him an answer i just said we gotta talk about it in person and that it was a shock to me.Mean while the next day he goes on and says baby i got you an engagment ring and i love you so much.When I wrote to this guy I did now expect a proposal.I expected it to begin like it ended last time we talked.Like good friends.I have been thro alot with guys.I was scared to even be this guys girlfriend let alone a freaking wife.He's like a little boy,he goes from one subject to another.He says hes getting out of the marines because he has panic attacks.When he has only been in the marines not even a year.So thats another thing he failed at.My mom called and tried talking to his parents,they are mean and nasty.I tired ignoring him but then it seems to get worse.He is now planning our wedding and i havent even told him yes...I do not want to marry this guy.I am only 19 years old.He's saying his father is a pretcher and he will marry us and we willl go to mariage concelling and that its gonna be a millitary wedding.Hes saying what i should wear.He told me hes going on websites looking at ideas for the wedding.Its like a run away train.My head is spinning,so are my mom and sis's.We dont know what to do.This guy wants to fly me to Florida where he lives to meet his family and spend time with him,yet when i ask him to come visit me and my family,he dont say a word about it.He dont really listen to what I have to say.I send him a text message and hes constanitly sending me pictures of himself.This is ruining my thought of even getting married,because im terrified.But when I say anything to him on the phone like calm down,im not going anywhere.he ignores it.It dont get through.Hes a sweet caring guy.He has a huge heart and his feelings are all out there.I dont want to hurt this guy.This guy has never hurt me or my mom or sister.Only been here for us...But I mean marrying me,planning wedding when we just reunited after 3 days...does this sound normal??????
Answer Cami,
I would do the following. Block him from your my space, change your phone number and eliminate ALL contact with him. This is not normal and you should be concerned for your safety. When someone is this irrational it is not the type of person you should be attempting to be rational with. If you stay in contact with this person you do so at your own peril.
David
