AboutEugenia Springer, Ph.D. Expertise I can answer your questions on how to stop being a victim, and/or how to stop being an abuser. My ability to help you, however, would depend on your willingness to assume full responsibility for helping yourself.
Experience From the 1970s to the present, my life has been a search after knowing my purpose, knowing myself, and knowing God. I talk about this search in my 2002 book, "Further Insights Into the Journey".
After years of teaching biology at university, I became a radio Family Life Counselor, and a newspaper columnist, responding to callers on radio, and replying to letters from the public, in the newspapers.
My book for the adolescent girl, "Girl, It's All About You"(Review & Herald Publishers 1980, and out of print) was my attempt to marry my field of training--biology, and my adoptive field--interpersonal relationships.
"Further Insights Into the Journey" is about my search for personal freedom--a search for freedom from external controls; for freedom from fear. Through very instructive experiences, many sorely trying, I uncovered that freedom within me, and found myself progressively experiencing increasingly greater measures of peace.
To get your copy of "Further Insights Into The Journey" email me at hftpproductions@tstt.net.tt.
Currently I am the host and producer of two weekly call-in radio programs. You can access our station online at www.power102fm.com. My programs are:
(1) "Life & Living/Soul to Soul", Wednesdays, 11:00 AM to 12:00 Noon; and
(2) DIALOGUE, Wednesdays 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM. DIALOGUE connects our national radio audience with our Trinidad & Tobago/Caribbean Diaspora, and other listeners beyond our shores.
Access Dialogue by going to www.power102fm.com from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM local Trinidad and Tobago time on Wednesday nights. Communicate with callers and studio personnel through our message board; or call any of the four telephone numbers listed: Toronto, London, Miami, and New York. Call through the number nearest you.
.
Question i am in a terrible relationship. my partner has become a pain in the neck. he stalks me and get aggressive when he sees me with the opposite sex. i am in a dilemna. how do i face this problem.
Answer Sarah,
It seems to me that you could be in danger. Are you living with this man? Your responsibility is to keep yourself safe. Restraining orders help, depending on the emotional state of the abuser.
I would say, get far away from this man. Now, I have no idea what your behavior is like, but regardless of how it is, no one has the right to be aggressive towards you. Can you get away from the area, letting the police and someone close to you know where you are?
But consider how you came to get involved in an abusive relationship. Get to a counselor and talk about yourself. Counselors and psychotherapists are here to help. Let them help you find your way to making choices that would lead to more healthy relationships. If you do not get help for yourself, you could go to the other end of the earth, and recreate a similar kind of relationship.
Just know that regardless of the pain in your past that has left you vulnerable to abuse, you are important; you are deserving of love; you do not have to take emotional wounds from another.
Love yourself; Learn to love yourself. If you do not feel capable of being loved, you would find yourself gravitating towards individuals who need someone to control. You might mistake the control for love but eventually you would find as you are discovering now, that no one has the right to give power over their own life to another.
Go talk to a Counselor about your past, your parents, or caretakers, about those you need to forgive, so you could get past the old pain, to an appreciation of your beautiful self, waiting all this time to be embraced and accepted by you.
We tell people by our behavior, how they could relate to us. People who are abusive do not know what it is to love. They do not love themselves. How can they then love you?
You have created this experience to teach you an important life lesson. Every experience we have, we create; and we create experiences to teach us lessons we need to learn, so we could grow, and become more responsible for our own happiness. Learn from this.
