AboutAzure Expertise can answer all relationship questions involving unhealthy, addictive, or otherwise unhappy arrangements, except those involving the legalities of physical abuse..
Experience see bio under "general dating questions"
Question Hey, my name is Chrissy and i'm 17 years old. I had been with my boyfriend for 2 years when we broke up last month. His name is Greg and everything was absolutely amazing when we first started dating. Actually, up until about 6 months and a year ago I thought I would marry this boy. I always knew he had an angry side to him and I had seen him go off on a few people, but he always promised me that he would never act that way towards me and that I was the most important person in his life. But after about a year he started yelling at me. Just argumentative stuff, but it was still yelling. And then it turned to name calling and threatening and it got so bad that all my friends and family were warning me to get away from him. But how can you leave someone you love that much? So I kept giving him second chances. He would apologize and cry and tell me how much it hurt him to yell at me and call me names and promise he would never do it again, but he always did. He was always the one who would beg to be with me afterwards and tell me how sorry he was. But the last time he was at my house, my mother had to call the cops because he had gotten in my face and told me that he was going to kill me if i didn't allow him to look through my phone. he was going to look through it either way considering i couldn't get it from a 6 foot 4 guy with my 5 foot body. He always threatened me and yelled at me just inches if any away from my face. He wouldn't let me leave either. If he started yelling I'd try to just walk away but he would force me to stay and listen to him put me down and degrade me. Whether it was holding me by the arm or slamming the door shut when i tried to open it to leave. But anyway, he had to leave my house because of the cops and I finally broke it off with him, but now he's acting as if he ended our relationship. almost like he never cared about me the whole time we dated. After all the begging and pleading and confessing his love he's just going to leave me. pretend like i didn't happen. i cant handle it. i used to be strong willed and out spoken, but he has turned me into a scared puppy. after two years of him five almost lost all my friends and extra activities. he tried controlling everything and now i cant get my life back. and i cant get over him. how could he do that to me and then just drop me like he never cared? i was the one who was abused and yet him mourning over him? how do i fix my life. how do i forget about him? how do i make myself believe that i was the one who was the victim and that i needed to get away from him. not that he's getting away from me. im an emotional wreck and its been a month since we ended it. i don't know what to do.
Answer i'd highly recommend counseling--the guy did you a HUGE FAVOR by disappearing--these abusive, controlling types only get worse, and you could have easily been physically harmed; stay in the PRESENT, and if a thought of him comes into your mind, REMOVE IT; stay active, meet new people, and begin the counseling to help you..
