AboutAzure Expertise can answer all relationship questions involving unhealthy, addictive, or otherwise unhappy arrangements, except those involving the legalities of physical abuse..
Experience see bio under "general dating questions"
Question OK, my friend has been with this guy for maybe a year and a half now. She met him online and the first time they met he apparently already started saying 'I love you', which I think is wrong. But that's beside the point. He's a real, er, jerk to her. He's also crazy; he apprently ran over his ex-girlfriend, and he's nothing but mean to my friend. He's also crazy in the fact that he goes to great lenghts to find out where she is and what she's doing at all times. For example: this has happened several times, but we'll be at a party or something hanging out with people, people we don't even really know, and one of their phones will ring. And it's him looking for my friend! That is not only crazy, but weird. My problem is this; I tell her all the time that this guy is crazy and not right for her. He obviously doesn't care about her at all, only himself. And she apparently cares about him immensely, which makes it even harder for me to get her to stop seeing him. He calls her names all the time, attacks her personality and say all kinds of horrible things to her. He abuses her too; one time I was at her house and out of no where he shows up. So she goes outside to talk to him and within 5 minutes I hear a loud BANG! And it's him throwing her up against the garage telling her to get in the car. This happens ALL THE TIME. He just comes out here unexpectedly and forces her to come with him. I'm really scared that he's going to try and kill her someday, like I'm serious, I think he's going to kill her. I mean, he ran over his ex, why wouldn't he do something like that again? Well, my question basically is what should I do? I wanna call the cops but I'm afraid they won't do anything about it because there's no real evidence on it, and my friends the type of person to pretend everything's ok when it's not. What should I do? Seriously?
-Amber
Answer not alot of options--you can continue to try and convince her as to getting out--you can even bring in friends/family members together to try and convince her; you could try to get her into counseling; after that, you could call the social services dept of your city/town, ask about whether a possible "intervention" is possible; the police would be the last resort, but would probably require some PROOF that he has physically abused or threatened her, which might mean her stating that it's true...
