About Francis Hosein Expertise I can answer questions on relationships; marriage, abuse, controlling relationships, successful relationships, codependency, father and daughter relationships,
I can answer questions on psychics, mediums, paranormal phenomena.
Experience relationships, psychic readings, setting goals, meditation, tai chi, therapy, yoga, massage. neuro linguistic programming
Education/Credentials b.a. in psychology, therapist in NLP, degree in chi nei tsang massage.
medium for over twenty years. Tai chi teacher for 27 years.
Abusive Relationships - Trapped in a relationship where I am being psychologically trapped
Expert: Francis Hosein - 3/21/2008
Question Hello,
I have been in a relationship for a little more than a year now. My partner is a nice girl, but she has some very serious trust issues. She has been constantly questioning me and verbally abusing me. Some of the elements will include searching through my cell phone to ensure that I have not called or text messaged anyone without her permission. Making sure that I am never speaking to any other girls (even for educational purposes) limiting any contact with girls at work as well (very difficult given my current occupation). I am constantly being told that I do not show enough affection, that I ignore her, that I am cold and distant. She forces me to literally stay on my cell phone with her for the entire night, so that "she feels like I'm close". She had told me once she does this so that she knows I am not speaking to anyone else.
I was in a long-term relationship previously (5 years) and she is constantly bringing that aspect into our relationship. She often makes snide remarks or comments which are very derogatory in nature.
This whole situation came to a culmination in December 2007, we had gone to get food from a restaurant. She was uncomfortable and she continually made insinuations that I was "checking out" the woman who was serving us. This could not have been farther from the truth. We had a verbal argument and she began to cry and scream. As I was driving she opened the door and threatened to jump from the car. I reached over and shut the door, in the process the car swerved. This happened once more. There were other motorists nearby who believed that she was in danger. I can not fault them for this, I would have likely thought the same thing. As such, these motorists called for help from 911. the police arrived and restrained me. I also suffer from anxiety disorder ( so the police were kind enough not handcuff me). I was afraid to tell the police everything that happened, because my girlfriend told me to tell them that she was sad because her grandfather had passed away (this was not true). The police did not lay any charges, thankfully because I don't know what I would have done to myself if that had happened.
Now I am being threatened that she will call the police if I leave her. I have told her that I am not happy in the relationship, that I am tired of defending myself against baseless accusations. I have never done anything to warrant her allegations. In fact early on in our relationship she had continued to speak to other guys with whom she had relationships. I am comfortable with her having friends who are guys, but she does not allow me to contact any of my friends.
I feel trapped and do not know what to do. I am in Ontario Canada and am wondering if I am able to obtain a peace bond or if the Police can help me at all. I am afraid that if she contacts the Police that they will simply look at it from her perspective and not believe that I have never touched her. I have looked on federal and provincial government websites, but this was the only site I could find that had any information about a male being psychologically and physically abused. I plead with you to assist me in anyway you can, any advice will be greatly appreciated by me.
Thank you in advance.
Syed
Answer Hi Syed, you girl friend is, and did a lot of test with you to see if you can handle her, if you are loyal to her.
She has some trust issues because of her pass.
She is not willing to face up to her difficulties, she is also manipulative in using guilt and fear to hold you.
She is desperate in her actions to control and keep you.
You need to get some information from the police, one thing they would say is you need to build a case with events of what has happen in the pass.
You may want to ask a lawyer some of it is free as a legal lawyer can suggest more.
Next step you can take out a restraining order on her if she is not willing to let go.
She is using threat to hold you so please change your phone number.
You have attracted this type of relationship and it is important to learn from it and move on.
Forgiveness is the way to heal this, you attracted a person who need you and in the beginning you felt good to be needed until you were control and smothered.
It will get better, this is temporary, it will pass.
