About Francis Hosein Expertise I can answer questions on relationships; marriage, abuse, controlling relationships, successful relationships, codependency, father and daughter relationships,
I can answer questions on psychics, mediums, paranormal phenomena.
Experience relationships, psychic readings, setting goals, meditation, tai chi, therapy, yoga, massage. neuro linguistic programming
Education/Credentials b.a. in psychology, therapist in NLP, degree in chi nei tsang massage.
medium for over twenty years. Tai chi teacher for 27 years.
Expert: Francis Hosein Date: 3/6/2008 Subject: so confused
Question I ended an 11 year marriage last summer as I was not in love with the man. It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I quickly fell head over heels for a neighbor of mine who was in the same situation. Our relationship lasted approximately 9 months and i want to give you a few details. Currently I have broke up with him and daily I am questioning myself if I did the right thing. First off he has a terrible relationship with his ex-wife - when they fight the things I hear him say to her are unreal and in the beginning I just let it go and knew he loved me and would never be like to that me. Of course also in the beginning things were great and I truly believe I was so in love with this man and held him up on the highest pedestal. This man is always "stressed" out about something and I don't think he knows how to deal with it. If something doesn't go his way he shuts down completely and will say "this won't work with us - we need a break, etc". Then he wouldn't talk to me and for hours I would cry and be upset because I thought we were finished. I would call him - cry to him - beg him - this is too good to let go. This happened every so often and each time I would tell myself that next time he acted this way to me I was done and that time would come and go and I would say the same thing. There were many other small factors in the relationship that bothered me also - very lazy, at times butted heads with my older son, if he did me a favor it was like I owed him even though I clean his house and do his laundry, etc. Many times I felt like we were walking on eggshells in order to not make him mad because I didn't want him to end things. 8 months into the relationship a light switch almost went off in my head that this was not a good relationship and I couldn't believe I allowed myself in this. I read many articles about verbally abusive, controlling, men and he sounded like one of them. I started pulling away. I couldn't understand how I lost love for him. The last two weeks were the most difficult. He had two of these "mad" episodes where it appeared he broke up with me and I didn't call him or beg him back which only made him more mad. This past weekend we were planning to go away (with just his daughter, not my children, because when they are all together it "stresses" him out too much) and I got strep throat - his first reaction was to be mad that I ruined the plans. I have had it and I tried all weekend to end things with him - but I think he is mentally unstable. He was crying, rocking, pretty much scaring the crap out of me. I finally told him it was over and he left his home, shut down his business and is "getting help". He thinks our love was once in a lifetime, we had a future planned and he is getting help so I should give him a second chance. I guess I am afraid if he gets mad what he will do and I did love him so much. I have such a void and I keep wondering if I did the right thing. My support of friends is wonderful and they keep telling me I have to stay strong and not go back to him. Its difficult because he does melt me and I think I'm scared of being alone.
Answer Hi Melanie, you left one relationship and went to another without giving yourself time to heal.
You are afraid of being alone and that drives you into relationships.
You need to stay away from men for a time and get to know you and allow you to discover you and be a friend to you.
Deal with your loneness and not run away from it comfort yourself, pamper yourself and have a dates with you.
You need to not get involve so quickly allow yourself to make friends and see if the person is good enough to spend time with.
Stop trying to fill a hole within with others fill it with loving you and appreciating all the good things about you.
Do not bring the kids in your difficulties with men it changes their perception about relationships as they grow older.
Kids need to meet the person when you think it going serious and not before.
