About Francis Hosein Expertise I can answer questions on relationships; marriage, abuse, controlling relationships, successful relationships, codependency, father and daughter relationships,
I can answer questions on psychics, mediums, paranormal phenomena.
Experience relationships, psychic readings, setting goals, meditation, tai chi, therapy, yoga, massage. neuro linguistic programming
Education/Credentials b.a. in psychology, therapist in NLP, degree in chi nei tsang massage.
medium for over twenty years. Tai chi teacher for 27 years.
Question Hi Francis, I am sorry as this may be a bit long but I'll try and keep it short.I left my ex husband of 14yrs due to being mainly verbally abused etc and we had 3 children.I then fell in love with this man and thought he was the most amazing person on earth, I couldn't of asked for anything else.I have been married to my husband for 16mths, and together 3yrs (our 2nd yr together was apart as he was home in ukraine till we got married, then he came back cause he got his visa)I can't talk to many people as everyone told me not to marry him. So now I look a fool.While he was away he would tell me I can't go out etc, although he did, but that was cause he was with his cousins.He would hang up on me when I called and I was left with looking after the house and bills etc, while he lived wih his parents. I was going through my divorce and rtyoing to do the best for my kids, who are all living with me now.When he came back after getting married, he seemed to of changed,from the 1st day hewas home he got drunk with his friend, I thought we'd spend the evening together but he couldn't wait to see him, so that really upset me, and that continued for a couple of weeks.. I fell pregnant a couple of months after and things just got worse, I was crying hysterically every day cause of things he'd say or do.He even threatened to throw me down the stairs, but he didn't and I don't think he would. This went on for about 6mths, it got so bad I went to victim support and spoke with them, he would threaten to take our unborn baby back to ukraine and I woul;d never see her again. Then things started to get a bit better. I read a book by Dr Laura and thought I was just not being understanding enough and always focusing on the nagative, I am/was a very positive person and always happy and smiling, but not anymore. We had a bab girl and he was wonderful when I had her, he looked after my 3, took them to school etc as I had to have an emergency C section, and wasn't up to much, but after coming home i soon ended up doing everything again, he helped with the hovering a couple of times, and cooked a couple of times. As things are today.. we have a 4mth baby, my 3, eldest being 10.I don't go out to work, but I do try to work from home to make some money.He works 11 hours a day, and sat a.m. When he comes home he just lays on the sofa, has his tea and goes to sleep most often, I understand he's had a hard day, He complains if he has to hold his daughter and follows me around till I can hold her, even when I'm trying to cook.If she cries 90%of the time he will shout me instead of picking her up,he doesn't help with her at all, I do everything (cause he works). He knew I had 3 children, and he has helped them behave better, but I find now he is always on at them, he now calls them/us animals, idiots, tells them there stupid etc and this worries me. He doesn't seem to let them have fun either,eg.. we went to a show the other day and they were excited , people were offering them sweets, and promotional items, he told them they couldn't have any more sweets (which isn't a problem) but they were given some ballons and he was so angry, he made them get rid of them. I was talking to a someone and he was so rude to them, it embarrasses me. He doesn't care who's around when he argues with me, and he gets so angry all the time (everyday). He has told me a couple of times that he will kill me and my kids if anything happens to his daughter, he's always threatening to take her with him to ukraine, and I know that having a passport is not an issue as he would buy one from somewhere. He tells me he'll get someone who will look after her properly, ( I don't neglect any of my kids, I am breastfeeding and worry about them all constantly as I want the best for them all, I am not as strict as he is though)My eldest has special educational needs and although he's 10, is only emotionally and educationally like a 6/7yr old, and my middle one is being tested for dyslxia.But regardless of their problems he is always going on at them, there is a point that is good, but I feel sometimes its too much.Last night he told me as he has before, the kids are to go and live with their dad (who they don't see much either)or if they don't then he will take baby and leave and I we will never see them again.He gets so angry over things..even little things and rarely says sorry, even if he was wrong, will always do the opposite of what I want him to do, doesn't llike going to my family, but when we have parties it's all his russian friends, spaeking russian and I'm the only english and no one talks to me, it's horrible sitting there hearing them all laughing and talking, but thats my fault as I haven't learnt a lot of russian ( I try to)I don't stop him going out, I don't stop him doing anything, He is always going on about money, tells me we don't save enough, tells me he'll give me £20 a week for food and he'll control the money, as I do all the finances. likes everything to have his name on it, I spent £400 on him for xmas and his b.day and I didn't even get a card. He wants his holidays only for going home and not to take us on holiday, and won't take my 3, expects me to get someone to look after them for 2 weeks.He doesn't think that I do anything and is always going on about the housework, tells me to do things, if dinner isn't ready and I ask him to hold baby ha tells me I should of satrted dinner 10mins before, or have it ready when he gets in, complains if I don't chop onion etc up small enough and will refuse to eat it.I don't cook any of the foods I used to, I have to do everything for him. I sound like I'm moaning, but I'm scared he will take my baby away, and I am always walking around telling the kids not to do things otherwise he will go mad.I try to do everything so he won't but he will sit there and think of something to get angry about.He is good as he goes to work(but hates his job)tells me if things are no different he will go home next yr mortgage his house and build some more to sell and stay there for a yr/18mths, and we're to stay here and I'm to claim benefits. He tells me that my work from home business will never work and to give it up, I don't go out. I just need to show him it does work, I have faith it'll work. He laughs at my dreams and goals and gives me a reality check.Am I just focusing on the negative, if i focus on his positive will it change things for the better.
Sorry it's so long,it's not all of it, but I think you will get how things are.He even thretens to kill my cats and always telling me to get rid of them. and if I'm on the phone, gets angry cause I'm talking too long, has even threatened to smash my phone cause I was talking to a friend via text, and occasionally will check my messages and has even told me that baby wasn't his when I was pregnant.Yes my kids are very challenging, but they are lovely too. I try my best and I do love this man an awful lot..
I Hope youy reply.
Tracy
Answer Hi Tracy, You are in a lot of trouble.
You doing things to keep the peace but it is not working this person is controlling and he knows how to threaten you.
He believes because he works outside that is enough and he should do no more when he come home.
You other kids are suffering quietly it is changing their history of how they see the world and what they are able to accomplish later on.
Your children feels left out and that they are not good enough.
Your husband is jealous if you stay to long on the phone because he is not getting any attention and that you are giving it to another.
He is afraid of not being good enough and so he wnts to control you to feel important.
In reality he is low in self esteem.
You need to get away, it will not get better until you make a change and stop putting up with his demands.
He will continue to ask for more from you because he knows you are afraid and he is using it against you.
You believe in community and working together he does not he is afraid of not being the center of attention.
You want peace at what price because you are leaving 3 other children alone because you are afraid of him.
You deserve better but you cannot get it not until you make a change, your business will not work if you do not make a change, because is a reflection of you.
You are hoping that he wakes up and want to do better for you and the children, how will he do that when you are giving him the permission to threat you badly?
Break the pattern because you are attracting the same type of men.
