About Francis Hosein Expertise I can answer questions on relationships; marriage, abuse, controlling relationships, successful relationships, codependency, father and daughter relationships,
I can answer questions on psychics, mediums, paranormal phenomena.
Experience relationships, psychic readings, setting goals, meditation, tai chi, therapy, yoga, massage. neuro linguistic programming
Education/Credentials b.a. in psychology, therapist in NLP, degree in chi nei tsang massage.
medium for over twenty years. Tai chi teacher for 27 years.
Question hello, my names kelli im 21 years old, 3 years ago i started to go out with a man called shane who is 32 yrs old he has full custody of his 6 year old boy and the 3 of us lived in shanes dads house with his dad, before i got with shane i knew of him, as we lived in the same town and he used to be friends with my two older brothers while growing up! they weren't too happy when they knew we were together as they thought i was taking alot on for my age and knew of his womenising ways! my mum and dad moved away with my twin brother 6 months after i got with shane so i moved in his dads house permantly we also got engaged just 4 months after being together. i used to look after his little boy quite alot but never really got much appreciation for it, at first things were really good with us we used to have such a laugh and he was really loving towards me, and made me feel so safe! i miss that feeling! but i think maybe i was pretty nieve, when we used to go out and get drunk he would always be really nasty to me, but never infront of people, most of the arguments turning pretty violent, he would never punch me, but he'd strangle me or spitt in my face and push me aroung like a piece of crap! as we were drunk when these things happened it was usually quite a blur the next day. so he would always have me believing it was my fault, and as i am a pretty fiesty person and dont really believe in backing down from anybody, which i also realise can make some situations alot worse! he would say sorry but never really show that much remorse and just expect to carry on as normal, so thats what i did!before shane i had boys left right and centre wanting to be with me, but i was quite picky and had so much respect for myself which slowly dissapeared! this was all in the first year, and then to my shock i found out i was pregnant, i was on the pill so it was totally unplanned, i knew straight away i couldnt have a baby with him as it wouldn't make things anybetter and i also didn't think it was fair for his little boy as shane never made the effort for us to be like a normal family, and i never really had much say when it came to his little boy so i knew deep down that i would have acted different with my own child, as i didn't really agree with the way he was bringing up his own! i gave up a pretty good job and my dad came and picked me up to take me to their new home which was 4 hours away, i ended it with shane and he didn't no i was pregnant, he didn't put up any kind of fight for me and just let me go. which made me feel so insecure. thankfuly my mum was so supportive and always gave me the best advise she's been my rock even while being so far away, shane found out i was preganant and i agreed for him to come and see me so we could talk, but it didn't work i went ahead with an abortion 3 weeks after. shane knew the day and time i was doing it, and while all this was going on i was being told by friends he had been sleeping about, even though we were'nt together i was heartbroken, i didnt really hear much from him so i started to get in touch with him again, and after 3 months we got back together. my mum was devastated as she knew he was bad for me, he promised we'd move out of his dads so me him and his little boy could get our own place and do things normally! none of that happened though he just obviously gave me fause hopes! his dad suffers from eppaleptic fits which happened quite alot so i wasn't sure if he felt bad deep down for moving out, or weather his life was just too easy living at his dads as his dad paid the rent and most things and also looked after his little boy quite alot, i worked in a pub but didn't really make that much money so i didn't really give shane any money towards anything which he used to make me feel really bad about, but i never helped myself to food and i was hardly at his house towards the end as i felt pretty awkward because in all our arguments shane would tell me to pack my stuff and tell me to go and see how hard life was and that things dont come for free, after so much stress and what felt like mind games i decided to stay at a fiends for a couple of days to clear my head, i carried on goin to work in the pub and after one night i finished shane came in and was pretty ignorant to me and was more concerned to talking to his friends when i knew he knew i was thinking of leaving him, so why didn't he wanna sort things out with me? i went back to my friends and ended up having a really bad anxiety attack and was taken to hospital, my heart rate was going at 160 beats when it should have been at 70, i thought i was gona die it was so scary!my boss told him about it the next day and he called me and asked how i was but didn't show that much concern, as he was more bothered about his dog he had to take to the vets!my dad came and picked me up again and im now at my parents again who are really supportive he hasn't really been in touch that much, and he's now arraning to go to thailand as his friend owns a farm out there and wants him to work for 3 weeks, it feels like ive been through so much and he just carries on as normal, always sriking lucky with quite alot of attention from girls, and i wonder if he knows what he's actually put me through and theres so much more that went on but obviously i cant write every detail, he wasn't always really bad 2 me but there was more bad than good, i feel so insecure and confused even though deep down i know he's the one with the problem.he never did anything for our relashionship he just expected me to go along with what he wanted,i do still love him but i know i cant go back to him but im not even sure if thats what he'd want anyway as he hasn't prooved his love since ive been at my parents or any kind of support! mayb he's just expecting me to go back?? i feel like such a fool because i kind of expected this outcome, i just hate to think he might be in total denial and believe i was a rubbish girlfriend who lived off him, i dont want to hate him but i want to get over him i feel quite sorry for him!! whats your oppinion? i was so loyal to him and i just wanted the best for us and his little boy, his little boy doesn't have a mum because she abused her first child and isn't allowed anything to do with shanes son!so i feel so bad for walking out on him too, but surely shane should think of his sons futre and his so called relashionship so his son can have some kind of security! ive totaly lost myself as a person and lost so much weight, do you think he knows he was treating me badly through our relashionship? i want to be me again xxx
Answer HI Kelli, that was a long history, you are asking someone to change and put you and the relationship first and you are not doing this for yourself.
Some how you would like someone to think and feel and want to save this relationship and the person is not and you have difficulty in accepting that this person may not have these abilities.
Have you ever heard the the saying looking for love in all the wrong places, that is what you are doing.
You are knocking on the wrong door hoping the person will see and realize what he is losing and want to save this and he is not and you have difficulty with this.
Why blame someone who does not have the ability or want to commit to a good long lasting relationship with you because this is not helping you it keeps you always in a state of waiting, wanting hoping.
You need to think you deserve the best for you and take steps to make this happen.
You cannot force another to love you, what he says and what he does is another thing.
Love you, put you first stop holding on and waiting for someone to change, you deserve better, and it is time you walk your talk.
There is lots of people around that loves you care for you and will help you, open up and allow more good people in your life,choose people that will nourish your soul and not take you down.
May God bless and give you the strength to do what is right and good for you.
