AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I can answer questions directly related to your challenging relationships. I will give you a straight forward answer to what I think the problem is.
Experience I have the experience needed to help you sort out how to work through your relationship. I meet weekly with people who have challenging relationships so let me help you!
Organizations AAMFT;AACC
Education/Credentials B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy
Expert: David Simonsen Date: 4/18/2008 Subject: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Question HELLO,
I,AM A 22 YEAR OLD FEMALE,WHO HAS BEEN IN A SIX YEAR RELATIONSHIP,AND WE HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TOGETHER. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I TRY MY BEST TO BE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND AND MOM THAT I CAN, BUT HE DOES NOT APPRECIATE ME. I USED TO CONSTANTLY FIND OUT ABOUT HIM SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN,AND WHEN I WOULD ADDRESS THE ISSUE HE WOULD BECOME FURIOUS,AND START A FIGHT. HE ONLY HITS ME IF I HIT HIM FIRST, IS THAT ABUSE? HE WILL NEVER HIT ME WITH A CLOSED FIST, BUT HE WOULD SMACK ME,PUSH ME, OR CHOKE ME, I AM 5 FEET, AND HE IS SIX FEET, HE'S ALOT BIGGER THAN I AM. WHEN HE IS UPSET WITH ME HE WILL TELL ME THAT HE'S CHEATING, I'M NOT THE ONLY PRETTY GIRL HE CAN GET,AND THAT HE DON'T LIKE ME.HE WOULD CALL ME A BITCH,AND TELL ME THAT I AM A BAD MOTHER,AND TRY TO DRAG ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. HE GETS ANGRY SO EASILY, IT'S LIKE I HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS AROUND HIM, I CANNOT EVEN VOICE MY OPINION WITHOUT HIM GETTING UPSET,BUT FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM,AND WANTS MY FAMILY TO WORK OUT. WHAT DO I DO?
Answer Shanna,
This is ABUSE plain and simple. Both of you are abusive and it needs to stop. You say you are in love. I would challenge that feeling. I would doubt that it is love. It sounds more like you are fearful to leave because you think no else would want you. I am sure he probably has even told you that no one would want you. I suggest you move out and go back to your parents or some other family member where you can be safe and protect your child. If you choose to stay then please find a safe place for your daughter. She should NOT be subjected to this abuse. The cycle needs to stop somewhere. If you are not willing to stop it at least give your daughter a chance of stopping it.
David
www.help4lif.net
