AboutDwayne Anderson Expertise I know much about abusive relationships as I have some with members of my family. Come to me if you need assistance with your relationship problems.
Experience Experiencing abusive relationships with family.
Expert: Dwayne Anderson Date: 4/3/2008 Subject: Please help me.Reading this requires patience.
Question "Please help me. My boyfriend of 2.5 years completed his graduation
from abroad, then came back because we used to miss each other and so
that
we could stay together. He never discussed even once that he was
leaving his placement for this.I could never come to terms with hi
leaving
his job there. He couldn't get a proper job here, this was last year.
for the past 10 months, i've been in living hell. He started with why
am
i doing my internship when he "came back for us" (I was not allowed to
carry my cellphone to work).I used to rush home and call him the first
thing. He went on to why did i talk with this guy and that guy...how
could i go out with friends after fighting with him.
I cant put it in words, the way he treated me.I know and so did he that
i was so hurt.He used to say he'd do something to himself or crash his
car.He got so angry when i was at class or asleep at home and couldn't
talk to him. All this while, we never stopped getting physical. I'm
such a fool. I thought he would know that i really care for him if i
let
him touch me inspite of the way he behaved.
I used to howl on phone. Then he used to apologise. It's a cycle thats
been repeating.till this day.I don't know what to do. He's nice and
sweet with words one day. And just when i think he's changed and he
wont
hurt me again, he makes me realize he has a bad job and career. Though
never directly blaming me for it.
If I don't take his calls, i feel guilty because he's stuck up here
with this job cz of me.But does that give him the right to throw away
my
love and feelings???? I've been treated for depression the last year.
I
blame him sometimes, but then i end up feeling bad because he says he
"needs me", "needs my support". For what?? for shouting at me and and
crying to show he's weak? And when i go back to him, shout at me
again?
This is my first relationship, and i wanted to marry this guy. Why did
he change????? Is something wrong with me?
Answer it is never someone else's fault when someone changes. Changes in a person's life can affect his or her behavior positively or negatively, depending on what the changes were and their effects.
He shouldn't be saying this stuff to you. Anything that hurts your feelings or makes you feel hurt and worthless is emotional abuse. If this shouting at you doesn't stop, you might need to end this relationship. Abuse should never be tolerated.
