AboutAzure Expertise can answer all relationship questions involving unhealthy, addictive, or otherwise unhappy arrangements, except those involving the legalities of physical abuse..
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Expert: Azure Date: 4/3/2008 Subject: daughter in abusive relstionship
Question About a month ago we found out that our 19 yr. old daughter is in an abusive relationship with her 18 yr old boyfriend. At this point we do not know what else to do. She had agreed to get away from him and seek help but after a couple of weeks she returned and started seeing him again. She said that her counselor told her that she could see him and talk to him. I don't believe that her counselor would say that it was ok to resume the relationship. He has been diagnosed with bipolar and was trying to get help, but since they have started to see each other again (it's been three days) he has discontinued all help. He was kicked out of his house and he spent the night at our home without our permission. When I found out I was pretty upset and told him to leave. She decided to leave with him. Since she is 19 I can not stop her, my only concern is for her wellbeing. With everything that she has gone through, she has lost alot of weight and has anemia. He constantly tells her that we are trying to control her. I don't know where to turn to for help. I am desperate for any information. How can I get her to understand that this relationship is not good for her?
Answer no easy answers; you can try to perhaps ask the counselor and the daughter if you can be included in some of these sessions; if you can prove real abuse is occurring, you could move to get authorities involved; you can certainly control what goes on in your house, and clearly state the requirements for any family member interested in living there; otherwise, she might have to learn the hard way as to the pitfalls of being in such a bad relationship..
