AboutEugenia Springer, Ph.D. Expertise I can answer your questions on how to stop being a victim, and/or how to stop being an abuser. My ability to help you, however, would depend on your willingness to assume full responsibility for helping yourself.
Experience From the 1970s to the present, my life has been a search after knowing my purpose, knowing myself, and knowing God. I talk about this search in my 2002 book, "Further Insights Into the Journey".
After years of teaching biology at university, I became a radio Family Life Counselor, and a newspaper columnist, responding to callers on radio, and replying to letters from the public, in the newspapers.
My book for the adolescent girl, "Girl, It's All About You"(Review & Herald Publishers 1980, and out of print) was my attempt to marry my field of training--biology, and my adoptive field--interpersonal relationships.
"Further Insights Into the Journey" is about my search for personal freedom--a search for freedom from external controls; for freedom from fear. Through very instructive experiences, many sorely trying, I uncovered that freedom within me, and found myself progressively experiencing increasingly greater measures of peace.
To get your copy of "Further Insights Into The Journey" email me at hftpproductions@tstt.net.tt.
Currently I am the host and producer of two weekly call-in radio programs. You can access our station online at www.power102fm.com. My programs are:
(1) "Life & Living/Soul to Soul", Wednesdays, 11:00 AM to 12:00 Noon; and
(2) DIALOGUE, Wednesdays 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM. DIALOGUE connects our national radio audience with our Trinidad & Tobago/Caribbean Diaspora, and other listeners beyond our shores.
Access Dialogue by going to www.power102fm.com from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM local Trinidad and Tobago time on Wednesday nights. Communicate with callers and studio personnel through our message board; or call any of the four telephone numbers listed: Toronto, London, Miami, and New York. Call through the number nearest you.
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Question I have been in a realationaship w/ a man 10 years younger than me for 2 years. And we have physically fought 2xs and he is constantly verbally abusive. I have asked him to leave several times but he wont and threatens to kill me if I do legally put him out or other wise. There is also a 9 year old child involved that is mine not his. How do I get out without any harm being done to us?
Answer Monique, you go to the police right away. Do not play with one who threatens. Threatening you is bad enough, but having your nine year old exposed to this could be so much more damaging. These are your child's formative years. What he/she is enduring is shaping his/her response to life, and determining the kind of person he/she would become. I recommend counseling for you, and your child. You have stayed too long in this abusive situation. You do not want to be charged with irresponsibility as a parent holding a child in an emotionally damaging environment. The young man needs help, but not from you. You may wonder why he is clinging to you, and refusing to leave your place. It could be that he does not know how to find his way on his own out there, and does not feel good enough to have you care for him for his own sake, so he tries to intimidate you into taking care of him. Do I have the picture correctly? Whatever the truth, you must take care of yourself, and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. It must be demoralizing to your child to witness you subjecting yourself to this young man's abuse, in your own home.
Not only should you go to the police, but also to Social Services.
I do hope you take hold of your inner strength and deliver yourself from being intimidated by this young man. And Monique, next time, do not be in a hurry to bring a man into your home. Let your child feel honorable in his/her home. You also need to feel honorable and honored in your home.
