About Alina Neal Expertise I can answer any questions concerning abuse whether it be physical, emotional and or sexual. I have been a counselor and a nurse in my life time and have lived and fought my way to being safe in all aspects.
Experience I have experienced every form of abuse and have lived through it, and come out of it stronger emotionally and physically.
Publications www.Helium.com
Education/Credentials Social work/psychology Human Relations/Counseling
Question Help! I have been married to my husband for almost 9 years. I have 3 children from my previous marriage; they are now 19 (boy), 16 (girl), and 15(girl). My husband has a 15 year-old son from a previous marriage. We also have an 8 year-old son together. My husband is a strict disciplinarian, and this has always caused conflict between him and my older kids. At first, it was nice to have a man "in charge" and helping with the kids, but I have grown tired of the constant conflict. My husband tries to "yell down" the kids, especially my girls. They hate him and openly say this to him and other-family, friends, neighbors. I feel his intimidation is abusive at times. So why am I still with him? I swore I'd never put another child through divorce. My husband isn't mean to our 8 year-old; he's very loving. I must say, however, that his older son-now 15- refuses to visit because he says he doesn't like his dad.
Am I foolish for protecting family "stability" for my 8 year-old at the sake of intimidation, yelling, anger and fear for the rest of us?
Any advice is appreciated.
Answer Teresa
Are you really protecting your family stability? Ask yourself and look deep within. To have your girls hate this man and his own child who is now 15 have dislike for his father is a huge sign that there is a problem.
Your children are growing up seeing this and they unfortunately may grow up and treat their own like this thinking it is normal. That is not stability, there having a bad image of what a father should be. It is your duty as a mother to make sure that your children are happy and intimidated free. I can see if for example the children were stealing or what not, then perhaps a punishment or talking to would the the correct thing to do. However trust me when I say your 8 year old will see this and end up hating his father OR end up being like his father. You are not protecting them you are only hurting them in the end.
They are not happy nor will they be till you get this man out of your life. They may act unhappy and still grieve but over time you will see the results of a happy family once you have left.
