Expert: Eugenia Springer, Ph.D. - 5/10/2008

Question
We are fighting over what toilet paper to buy. It is that stupid and I am probably starting just as many fights as he is. I love hime so much and have been divorced now three times and so has he. Now his anger is almost him accusing me of cheating which i never has nor he has so i know he is hurt but i cant listen to him when he is angry because he slams my past and tells me i say i am bi-polar for an excuse yet i have attempted suicide 8 times and been on 1500mg of depakote which because of insurance i no longer have which i am sure is why he thinks i have changed. How do i get him to see my love when i do not no how to show it other then with cards and presents (which he does the same by the way)

Answer
Is 'tweet' really your name #smile#.

Life is not easy when you are suffering from a chemical imbalance.  You know this.  But to make life as nearly normal as possible, one needs to stay on their medication.  It is a challenge enough managing your life when you are bipolar, when you have to be concerned about a love relationship, you have a formula for stress.  This is what you are no doubt realizing.  Does this man also have a chemical imbalance in the brain?

Anger?  Suicide attempt?  You have been taking on a lot.  You need to rest and relax. Evidently, you do not know how to do this, else you would have been resting and relaxing.  So, "Tweet", if you cannot afford to see a therapist privately, go the Social Services in your area and ask to be assigned a Social Worker.  Ask for therapy.

Your problem is not the gentleman.  Your problem is you, and how you perceive reality; what you expect, what you think you get; and your response when you do not feel you have received what you desire.

Suicide is not the answer.  Understanding your self, your body, and how it functions, this is your challenge.  When you come to know yourself you stop blaming others for doing different things to you.

Love yourself, you have been placed here for a purpose.  You deserve to be happy, so, with the help of any support system you could structure, go after a happier existence for yourself.  This might very well require that you stay on medication.

Blessings.

Dr. ES