Expert: Dana Q - 6/19/2008

Question
Hello, I have a nephew that is going through a divorce and has a five yr old daughter. The child is very hot tempered and is throwing major temper tantrums and kicks, bites and strikes my nephew and anyone like pre-school teachers who attempt to calm her down. She is the worst after her one week stay with her mom. Mom tries to say she is fine and now temper tantrums when she is with her, but that is not true. Big thing with this child is when you ask ANY question about her time at Mommy's, she clams up and she gets a dead look in her eyes, she will just not say anything about her time with Mommy or mommy's mom (Nana). I believe this child is being abused and don't know how to help my nephew prove this to fight for custody. The child also comes back from Moms and is so hiper and does not go to bed until way past midnight for several days. The parents switch her out every Wed.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, this is a lovely, loving little girl that just seems to go nuts on us.
Thanks,
Jan

Answer
Hi Jan,

Thanks for writing to me.  It definitely sounds like some sort of abuse is happening at the mother's house.  Whether the mother is the actual perpetrator or there is someone else involved (does Mom have a boyfriend, for example?) is unclear.  I would recommend taking your great niece to a child therapist to try to determine the underlying cause for these behavioral problems.  If an objective professional uncovers evidence of abuse, it will greatly help your nephew's petition for custody.  

Dana Q