Expert: Dana Q - 6/18/2008

Question
*Tyler and I have been together for nearly three years and I like to believe that I love him very much.  He's been the support system I lack and the comfort i seek.  It's not like he hasn't done it before but the consistency of it makes me question him.  Even I am able to admit that he's emotionally abusive.  The past two years he's pushed me, slapped me and choked me... lightly.  Tyler has a short temper and demands constant attention.  More than ever, he's been calling me names.  Every name you can think of is what I am, especially a slut.  I enjoy wearing shorts in the summer and I am a runner so they're essential.  Tyler gets mad, Tyler thinks I'm a whore and Tyler doesn't want me participating in the sports I love. He also doesn't want me to have guy friends and I've gotten so used to the emotional abuse that it doesn't affect me anymore.  Help please.

Answer
Jacqui,

This is far more than emotional abuse.  He is also physically abusive and it is extremely dangerous.  You need to get out of this relationship immediately.  Domestic abuse often begins with verbal and emotional abuse, eventually escalating into physical abuse which is sometimes fatal.  Someone who is your support system and a source of comfort doesn't call you names, tell you what friends you can have or that you can't do the things you enjoy, or push, slap, and choke you.  Please leave this relationship NOW, before he seriously injures or kills you.

Dana Q