Expert: David Simonsen - 6/1/2008

Question
I have a good friend who has been married about 4 years (dvted for 2 before marriage) to a decent guy with a history of past drug dealing, but also using and alcoholism.

The problem is that he recently has fallen off the wagon 2X in 2 weeks, once with a drinking binge during which he confessed to my friend about women my friend never knew about (he was flirting with one in front of her at the bar), then the second time on a full day/night crvck binge which was really, really scary as I was there. He was a completely DIFFERENT person during both episodes. My friend is scared and says she cannot trust him as he promised the addictions and womanizing were in the past. I think he needs counselling and more treatment, esp. because if he isn"t using, he's constantly talking about coke...where he used to buy and sell it, etc...this last episode, he claimed he "found" the baggie of rock by the side of the road...that it was somehow OK and not breaking his promise to her since he didn't actually pay for it...is this BS or what?

What would you say?

Answer
Chris,
I would say you need to be careful in your association with these people. This is a lifestyle that involved using people and not caring what happens to people. If you are seen as the meddling friend this man will have no problems hurting you. It is OBVIOUS your friend needs to leave, but she feels comfortable in this relationship. That is what you should be asking your friend. Why is she willing to stay in an abusive relationship like this. This guy doesn't need counseling he needs jail time to sober up and get right. Your friend needs to leave otherwise she will continue to be the victim and potentially face death.
David
www.help4life.net