AboutDavid Simonsen Expertise I can answer questions directly related to your challenging relationships. I will give you a straight forward answer to what I think the problem is.
Experience I have the experience needed to help you sort out how to work through your relationship. I meet weekly with people who have challenging relationships so let me help you!
Organizations AAMFT;AACC
Education/Credentials B.A. M.S. Marriage & Family Therapy
Question Ok so this might take awhile. I am eighteen and about a year ago I was going out with this guy for three years. I started dating him at the age of fourteen and I'd say he was my first real serious boyfriend which is why I presume I didn't notice when things got bad.knowing what I do now I don't know how things got so bad I've always been a very outgoing and strong person very my way or the highway type so for me its still hard to believe that it happened to me.thie guy was abusive in every way mentally, he would call me names and constantly ridicule me, emotinally, he'd yell and hit me if I cried or tried to stand up for myself against him at all and then physically, hitting me for crying or trying to stand up for myself. About 6 months after breaking up with him I met the most amazing guy in the world. I would have asthma attacks he'd be there in the middle of the night just to rub my back and comfort me he is just amazing and he's such a good guy. The problem though is I can't seem to break from my past relationship I refuse to cry in front him for fear he will yell or hit me, I freak out when he leaves worried he will not come back. This is not my normal behaviour I want him to go out and live his own life but I can't get past what happened before to me. I went to see a counselor but it didn't help much. Please give me sonme advice on getting over my insecurities.
Answer Jessie,
If you keep jumping back into relationships without truly understanding yourself you will never become a fully healthy person. You have been in relationships since you were 14. I think you must be scared to be single. You say that you are this certain type of person, but where is the evidence of it? Maybe you want to be a strong person, but you have never been able to be because you are always in a relationship with someone. I would suggest get out of the relationship and be on your own for a while. Seek out a COMPETENT therapist who can help you figure out what Jessie is about. Continuing to rely on guys to help you figure out who you are is not the way to go.
David
www.help4life.net
