Expert: Nafeesah - 6/13/2008

Question
I have been married to my husband for nearly 13 years. We had no children until nearly 3 years ago. We have triplets -very stressful life. He is always mad about something and he takes it out on me. We can't discuss anything because it turns into a yelling session. He is very selfish, most of the time, too. He could care less about how I feel or how stressed I am. I think he secretly resents our children because he can't go and do as he once did. I think he is taking this out on me. How should I handle a person like this? My life is very emotional, right now, mainly because of him.

Answer
Sounds to me like he was content when the kids werent around and now that you got 3 of them it's like he feels his life is being interrupted by the noise and activity of kids. If he's not willing to communicate and is only thinking about himself most of the time and doesnt ask how you feel or even offer to take the kids off your hands so you can have a break. This sounds a lot like my ex who I was with for more than 5 years he too was selfish and self centered. If the relationship doesnt improve you should consider making some changes in your life and if these changes include actually leaving him and taking the kids it's about compromising and it sounds like he's not willing to do that. You deserve more than just a man who's always taking things out on you and treating you like you don't matter I would seriously consider the state of the marriage and ask if staying is even worth the amount of unhappiness or leaving and starting over again raising your kids without the stress and strife of someone who can't even once in a while take the kids off your hands so you can have a break sometime.