AboutKathleen Nickerson, PhD Expertise Do you feel like your partner is pulling away or pushing you away? Feel invisible, unappreciated, unloved, and neglected? It doesn't have to be this way and I'd love to help you. As an expert in working with couples who want to strengthen and repair their relationships, I've worked with many people who feel just the way you do. I understand how painful and hurtful these situations can be; it would be my honor to assist you. I am happy to answer any relationship questions or general psychology questions.
Experience I am a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping couples strengthen and repair their relationships. I love what I do because I love love - I am eternally optimistic about relationships and believe that any marriage can be made better.
I have a PhD in Clinical Psychology, with special emphasis and advanced training in couples counseling and marriage therapy. I have been in practice for nearly 10 years and have helped hundreds of couples to improve and strengthen their relationships.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Orange County Psychological Association
University of California, IRB
Orange County Mental Health Board
Founder, Mental Health Advisory Board, OH, Inc.
Publications I love to share my knowledge with others and in recent years, I have had the privilege of speaking at more than 150 local and national conferences and training programs. I have also been a featured guest on numerous local radio and television programs. In addition to speaking, I enjoy writing and have written over 75 professional publications. My first book, Speaking Up: How to Get Help for Children Living in Abusive Homes, is used as a textbook for teachers and provides a comprehensive overview of child abuse reporting. I collaborated with colleagues to write Save the Date, a curriculum for the United States Department of Justice for teens on developing healthy dating relationships. I am currently at work on two new books to be released later this year: It's All In Your Head: Secrets To Staying Happy and Healthy & Divorcing Your Inner Fat Girl: The Smart Woman's Guide To Emotional Health After Weight Loss.
Education/Credentials PhD - Clinical Psychology, Capella University
MS - Developmental Psychology, Capella University
BS - Chemistry, University of California, Irvine
Awards and Honors Please visit my website for my complete bio: www.drkathynickerson.com
I'm 27 years old and I have 2 roommates, one is 22 and the other 24. Back in February they both screamed at me for forgetting to clean the apartment for 4 weeks. It was my turn to do it that month and I completely forgot every weekend because I had a lot of exams and they didn't have any exams. So they got really angry, screaming at me and saying a lot of rude things.
But after that I have always helped them clean, so it is ok. We haven't had any problems after that.
However, whenever I walk by their rooms I always hear both of them whispering about me and my name being said, they are gossiping about whatever they don't like about me, and when I walk by they stop talking and look embarrassed. They are both smirking and laughing about me quietly.
So it is June now and I am moving out of the apt this August and will be moving back in with my parents. So I have 11 more weeks to live with them.
I thought I would just ignore it for the next 11 weeks and just concentrate on school.
Or should I mention something to them? It's getting reeeeeeally annoying. I know 3 months will be here soon enough...but still...eleven weeks is a long time when you're constantly being talked about.
thanks
Answer Hi Laurie. Thanks for your question, it sounds like a really uncomfortable situation.
In deciding what to do, I think you need to think about two things:
1. If you DO tell them how you feel, how might they react and how will it change things in the house?
2. If you DON'T tell them, how will you feel for the next 11 weeks and is it worth enduring those feelings?
Only you can really answer these questions. I am always on the side of talking it out and telling people how you feel. It sounds like it hurts you to hear them gossiping and that you're sorry for not helping them clean that one month. So you might invite them out to Starbucks for coffee and say, "Hey guys, it seems like things have been awkward between us since the cleaning incident. I am so sorry that happened and I have been trying to show you that I am sorry by always helping you clean now. So help me understand, is there more going on because we used to be closer?"
Hopefully, they'll be honest with you and become more aware that their behavior hurts you. And in the conversation with them, feel free to say ,"It really hurts me when I walk by the room and notice you stop talking. If something's bothering you, let's talk about it."
If you think they're not going to be very open to these ideas and will likely laugh it off, you might decide it's not worth talking to them. If so, I'd recommend you start looking for a new place and stay busy until you move out. Sorry you're in this situation, but I know it will be better soon.
