AboutKathleen Nickerson, PhD Expertise Do you feel like your partner is pulling away or pushing you away? Feel invisible, unappreciated, unloved, and neglected? It doesn't have to be this way and I'd love to help you. As an expert in working with couples who want to strengthen and repair their relationships, I've worked with many people who feel just the way you do. I understand how painful and hurtful these situations can be; it would be my honor to assist you. I am happy to answer any relationship questions or general psychology questions.
Experience I am a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping couples strengthen and repair their relationships. I love what I do because I love love - I am eternally optimistic about relationships and believe that any marriage can be made better.
I have a PhD in Clinical Psychology, with special emphasis and advanced training in couples counseling and marriage therapy. I have been in practice for nearly 10 years and have helped hundreds of couples to improve and strengthen their relationships.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Orange County Psychological Association
University of California, IRB
Orange County Mental Health Board
Founder, Mental Health Advisory Board, OH, Inc.
Publications I love to share my knowledge with others and in recent years, I have had the privilege of speaking at more than 150 local and national conferences and training programs. I have also been a featured guest on numerous local radio and television programs. In addition to speaking, I enjoy writing and have written over 75 professional publications. My first book, Speaking Up: How to Get Help for Children Living in Abusive Homes, is used as a textbook for teachers and provides a comprehensive overview of child abuse reporting. I collaborated with colleagues to write Save the Date, a curriculum for the United States Department of Justice for teens on developing healthy dating relationships. I am currently at work on two new books to be released later this year: It's All In Your Head: Secrets To Staying Happy and Healthy & Divorcing Your Inner Fat Girl: The Smart Woman's Guide To Emotional Health After Weight Loss.
Education/Credentials PhD - Clinical Psychology, Capella University
MS - Developmental Psychology, Capella University
BS - Chemistry, University of California, Irvine
Awards and Honors Please visit my website for my complete bio: www.drkathynickerson.com
Question I had weight loss surgery and my best friend of many years had surgery the year before I did. We both were successful. I thought it would make us closer. After I lost the majority of our weight, our friendship changed and she became very critical of my hair, my clothes, and how I looked. Our friendship eventually fizzled. Why does weight loss cause a change in relationships?
Thanks for your assistance.
Answer Hi Cathy. Thank you so much for your question. I am so sorry you experienced a change in your friendship, that does sometimes happen after a major life change.
It is sad that your friend became more critical and judgmental as your weight loss progressed. It sounds like there must have been some jealousy issues that came up.
Friendships are formed for many reasons and sometimes, they are somewhat situational. People who are in similar spots/situations tend to come together to support each other, so it makes sense to me that the two of you would bond over the struggle to lose weight and be overweight.
It might have been that she liked the attention she was getting when she was the "skinny one" and you were the "heavy one." She might have enjoyed the feeling of being more desirable, more socially acceptable, more attractive, or "better" in some way. (Please know that I don't personally think one's weight has anything to do with these attributes, but some people do.....so I am including them here). Once you started to lose weight and were on the same level, her competitive advantage was lost and she may have been uncomfortable with this.
Weight loss can cause radical changes in romantic relationships too and if you'd like to read more about this, feel free to read my article here:
