About Alina Neal Expertise I can answer any questions concerning abuse whether it be physical, emotional and or sexual. I have been a counselor and a nurse in my life time and have lived and fought my way to being safe in all aspects.
Experience I have experienced every form of abuse and have lived through it, and come out of it stronger emotionally and physically.
Publications www.Helium.com
Education/Credentials Social work/psychology Human Relations/Counseling
Question I had been with this man for 2 years 7 months he was verbally and emotionally abusive for the majority of the time i have recently put an harassment order on him but why am i struggling so much to get this man out of my head. His family have used and abused him even his son took a loan out in his name and my ex did nothing guess he has a guilty conscience as he left him when he was 3, fair enough but why has it got to be one rule for him and another for me. i have been a
called all the names under the sun, apparantly i am a user when i own my own home and he still at home with his father everything he ever did for me has been thrown back in my face. he recently bought me a puppy then when i said it was over all he wanted was the money for the dog i have given him the money and feel i have proved to him i am no user never have been ive worked hard all my life for what i have.he slags off my children yet his son commits fraud and he never has a bad word to say about him.
When we met i thought he was a strong man but turned out to be weak and a very big drinker the abuse used to happen after a night in the pub, but eventually even when sober i was his target. help me understand and move on from this please!!!!!
Answer Valerie
You need to get out of this and stop making the same mistake over and over again. Your children will see this and copy and act it out as they get older.
What you need to do is to realize why you are attracting this type and how to stop. Do you have the "I want to take care of you thing going on?" If you do you need to stop it! This will only attract addicts, beaters, you name it! You need to be strong and start working on yourself so that you stop. Get a counselor, start working out, get a support system good family and friends and keep yourself busy take up a new hobby.
Do not let one person who is seriously messed up, mess you up! You will only loose years to this person and it will only cause you much heartache in the end. And for heavens sake do not take him back people do not change and most certainly not abusive people. They have to take initiative in their own problems if not they will never change. Remember they are not your problem to fix.
