Abusive Relationships/Is he worth it?

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Expert: Eugenia Springer, Ph.D. - 7/12/2008


Question
Tonight he grabbed me by the neck, not playfully.  I love him and he is drunk right now, I want to go but I live with him and I'm afraid.  What do I do?


Answer
Fearful or not, you go, Jessica.  You go.  A grab by the neck is a threat to your safety.  You cannot love him if you do not love yourself; and if you remain in an abusive relationship you are displaying a level of dependency that just does not fit with self love.

Of course, you have your story just as he has his.  I don't know how long you have been with this man, or why you are cohabiting, or whether he is habitually drunk.  What I know is only what you have said, and the feelings I sense from what you have said.  And I sense that you are scared, desperately scared.

And quite likely he would work on your mind when he sobers up.  Do you have relatives?  If not, go to the police.  Ask them for help.  If you have to go to a shelter, do so, but protect yourself.  Fear must never prevent us from attending to our safety.  Fear must never be allowed to put caution and wisdom to flight.

ES

Abusive Relationships

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Eugenia Springer, Ph.D.

Expertise

I can answer your questions on how to stop being a victim, and/or how to stop being an abuser. My ability to help you, however, would depend on your willingness to assume full responsibility for helping yourself.

Experience

From the 1970s to the present, my life has been a search after knowing my purpose, knowing myself, and knowing God. I talk about this search in my 2002 book, "Further Insights Into the Journey". After years of teaching biology at university, I became a radio Family Life Counselor, and a newspaper columnist, responding to callers on radio, and replying to letters from the public, in the newspapers. My book for the adolescent girl, "Girl, It's All About You"(Review & Herald Publishers 1980, and out of print) was my attempt to marry my field of training--biology, and my adoptive field--interpersonal relationships. "Further Insights Into the Journey" is about my search for personal freedom--a search for freedom from external controls; for freedom from fear. Through very instructive experiences, many sorely trying, I uncovered that freedom within me, and found myself progressively experiencing increasingly greater measures of peace. To get your copy of "Further Insights Into The Journey" email me at dreugenia.springer@live.com For a few years I hosted and produced the weekly call-in radio program, Life and Living/Soul to Soul on radio station Power102fm.

Education/Credentials
Certificate in Parenting and Family Life Counseling Certificate in Dianetics Counseling Ph.D. in Zoology (specializing in Biochemical Genetics)

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