Expert: Nafeesah - 1/24/2009

Question
I've been having a problem with my current boyfriend for about a year now! Name calling and putting me down in front of friends and family. I have been called every name in the book, even if I try to open up and say hey your really hurting my feelings and your so disrespectful. He will reply that I'm a bitch and he doesn't care. He tells me to leave him or he'll say,"so you wont leave me!" I'm tired of this, I'm stressed but I love him! We have a son and for the most part I thought we were willing to work it out. What can I say to let him understand I am really hurting and this is wrong! He acts like a child and doesn't understand what I'm trying to say. Cam you please HELP!!!!!

Answer
What disturbs me about your situation is that there is a child involved and you have no reason to stay with this man PERIOD!!!! If he's abusing you now what makes you think that your son will see this eventually. You are raising another male so he needs to be around someone so he can see how to treat a woman with respect. If you exhausted your means to work the relationship out through a trial separation or even counseling it's time to hang it up and move on for the sake of your son. Your main focus now is your child and you don't need another man in your life right now. I wouldnt rationalize with someone who's childish behavior is stupid he'll learn when he sees you're gone that should drive the message home that you're done dealing with him and the abuse and that you need to focus on raising your child in a healthy and safe home.