Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 10/31/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hello dr sundar I am hooping you can give me some insight on this situation. I am 22 years old and was involved in an incestuous relationship with my dad from 16-19. The sex stopped at 18 but the abuse and my self destruction, continued till 19. Now I am engaed with two kids that I just recently had and my father and I do still talk because he is in the process of getting me a car. My fiance knows and he doesn't know much about the situation so he blames me which makes me get all depressed. I want my father to pay for ehat he did but why do I feel guilty if he were to go to jail,what does that mean? Also I have not told my mother because I am afraid she will point fingers at me,this is just a very confusing matter and I don't want to keep this secret any longer but how do I tell? My father has got me pregnant and that is just some detail to let you know how serious things were,I aborted the baby obviously @ 16. Please help me doctor..thanks

ANSWER: Dear Chante,

I empathize with you.

Before I  could say  anything on this , I wish to know  was this consensual sex or  forces sex?
If forced sex, what hindered  you from  getting out of it

If sex  happened with consensus, what attracted, enticed you to  do it  again and again till 18.

I will  answer  you again after reading from you

Have  a  nice  day



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Honestly he never forced me it started out with him picking me up from my moms and I have not seen him since I was 3 and on the way to his house he just kissed me. I know it sounds strange but froom what I remember it was like a teenager and an older boyfriend and I guess that is what enticed me or just the fact that I haven't seen him in 13 yrs he wasn't like a father but more like an old friend...

Answer
Dear Chante,

I am  not at all suggesting you to   go to church  or attend  church  services.This will never solve the problems. All I say is   awaken your heart, mind and body to God's voice. Establish a personal relationship with God through  diligent personal prayer(every day one hour  in the early morning atleast)  in your private room, read  the Bible, especially read  the Psalms and make the reading  a prayerful one. When ever  possible shout, cry   and pray to God with tears(you  can do this loud prayers in foresty area or in a lonely place)

I pray for your healing

-Dr.Sunu Sundar