Expert: Azure - 12/8/2009

Question
My fiance and I have been engaged now for 10 months and as our wedding quickly approaches the stress level has become very heavy on my shoulders. I do not want to nag my fiance, I understand it makes him feel unrespected and it only pushes him away, but I cant find any other way to communicate with him.

Currently we live very far apart. I am in Canada and he is in Florida, I have been flying back and forth once or twice a month during our relationship. The wedding is set to be in Florida which has made planning my wedding a nightmare because he wont help me! Simple things, we needed a caterer he seemed uninterested but gave me a list of foods he would like to have, so I reaserched and emailed and phone called and found a caterer, all I needed him to do was stop by and drop off the deposit. I've had to ask several times as weeks have gone by and he still hasnt done it, and he accuses me of nagging him and pushing him away but when is enough enough? Is it never ok for me to nag, and how is asking once or twice a week if its done yet even nagging?

We both work full time, infact I put more hours in at work then he does by about 10 hours a week so the excuse of being tired from work dosent float and he dosent even try to use it as an excuse. The problem is every day when he gets home from work he sits down to play World Of Warcraft until 3:30 am then cant even wake up in time for work let alone early to get a deposit check to the caterer. He says things will be different once we are married and that he only plays to entertain himself while im not here and he misses me. Could this bear any truth? Am I heading towards an unhappy marriage with a husband who is addicted to a virtual world and wont help me do even the simpelist of tasks?

I do not know what to do, I love him very much. Ive tried playing the game with him to spend time with him and because I'm not as good at it as him or his ingame friends im not even allowed to participate and share in his play. Ive thought of leaving him, but I want to know I did everything I could first. I feel as though he is sick, his addiction is like an addiction to a bad drug. My heart wont let me walk away from him while he is sick, I love him too much, but its making me hate myself. I hate nagging him, I hate having to ask him to do anything more then once, but most of all I hate that I come second to a virtual world. Please help me with any advice or guidance you can give

Answer
don't make the mistake of getting married with these kinds of reasonable doubts; first, why you're getting married down there when you're in canada is troublesome;  why YOU'RE the one doin all the flying is troublesome; his indifference to helping is troublesome, and his addiction to a dumb game is no different than if he was on drugs; i'm sure there are more red flags--catering to him because he's "sick", isn't the answer; the advice: is this the package you want to sign up for??..your choices: a) walk away now while you can..b)INFORM him of all the things that are no longer acceptable, REQUIRE his immediate attention to change them to your satisfaction, or else you're OUT, or c) a regretful life of quiet desperation...take your pick...