Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 12/31/2009

Question
My younger sister has always been rambunctious, sexual and aggressive.  My husband says that I have suffered emotional abuse by her my entire life.  I do know that I always feel terrible about myself when she is around.  

Now I'm concerned about her son.  He is a bright and funny 8 y/o, with wonderful manners. But the way she interacts with him seems very harsh.  She bullies him into behaving.  She yells and orders him around, in my opinion, unfairly.  If he objects or cries she belittles him and calls him a baby. She often uses profanity while yelling at him. She tells him he's lame, or a nerd. If I object she yells at me to "get your own kid"

Often, while "playing" or wrestling, she will sit on him, laughing, until he cries. He tries to be tough, but I can see that he is terrified of her.  He knows he can't complain without getting yelled at.

There's one other thing.  While we were out shopping, she took him into the dressing room with her while she tried on lingerie, but when she came out she confessed to me that she had taken sexy pictures of herself in the lingerie for her lover, and that she has stolen 2 bras.  In front of him!  She claims he didn't notice.

This doesn't seem like the right way to raise a healthy child. Is there anything that I can do? Would CPS do anything if I called?  Is there a way to make her take parenting classes?  Am I wrong to be concerned? Or is this just a matter of opinion on child rearing?

Answer
Dear Jenny,
Your concerns are very much valid.

There seems to be something terribly wrong  with  your sister.If this continues the boy will  grow as a unhealthy child and will later  turn to be  a anti-social element.
I suggest you to talk to the boy's father. I also suggest you to take this concern to  a   larger level of discussions  with reliable seniors, friends, your husband and legal experts   before acting on it
You may call the  CPS.But  you must prepare the boy  to  complain or  stand by  your side when CPS enquiry comes.You must regularly talk to the boy.

OR

You must  produce concrete evidence of  child harassment against your  sister.Example- you
can record  the boys complaints,pains, harassment  in  your ipod,cam etc.

However know this, this concern o you  will produce  a  major gap  between you and your sister.You both might   become   enemies!
Pray to God  diligently and act



Have  a nice  day