Expert: Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP - 12/14/2009

Question
what do if im too afraid to tell my mom or authorities i'm being mentally abused?  i'm living in fear because the guy is dominating me.  he makes me do horrible things he bosses me around and make me feel worthless he also makes me cry and tells me to stop and if i don't he'll hurt me.  he threatens to find out where i live and beat me up if i don't do what he says and he finds ways to get angry at me for no reason then he starts threaten me.  he blackmails me with pictures and threatens to ruin my life he tells me if i do this or that he'll stop but he only gets worse.  my life is very corrupt and im too scared to talk because of the horrible things that has happen will ruin my life.  im in desperate need of help because im only 18 and i can't continue to live my life this way please please help me

Answer
Dear Pora,
This must be so difficult for you....at your age to be faced with this kind of abuse is a lot to bear and I thank you so much for writing.  You are in a difficult position and the way out of it is not going to be very easy either, but what it comes down to is do you want to face the pain of coming clean and turning your life around which will take this person's power away or do you stay with the pain of being in fear and being controlled.  

When we live a corrupt life, the consequences are steep and we become vulnerable to corrupt individuals who exploit our fears for their own use.  You said he threatens to ruin your life, but isn't it already pretty bad?  If you can't go to your mom or the authorities, you might check out your local women's center.  They deal with this kind of thing all the time and may have some options for you that you don't know about.  The best thing to do is to stand up for yourself, come clean on what you need to come clean about which will take away the threats....that power will be taken away from him.  Stepping up to the plate, taking responsibility for the things you have done and enlisting the help of people who can help you.  Bringing your life out into the light will keep it safe from people who live in the dark.

The only other option you may have is to move to another city or another state and start over again, without the corruption.  I don't know if that is an option for you, but you can't live like this.  He will eventually do what he threatens to do and there will be more hurt.  

I hope this has helped.  If I can be of any further assistance, please feel free to contact me.

Blessings,
Kriss Mitchell
www.livingwellcc.com