Expert: Dr.Sunu Sundar - 12/22/2009

Question
I am deeply confused about my relationship with my husband.
I have suffered alot in past relationships. I am a single mother of three and I worked hard to heal myself emotionally with God's help.
One day I met a man who was different. He felt like a gift from God. At first I was very wary of him and untrustworthy, because I knew he had a past but being in a 12-Step program I knew many people with a past...including myself. I know people can learn from their mistakes and change if they truly desire to. He worked hard to gain my trust. He was anxious to commit to me and my children and later became the loving partner, friend and provider that I had always prayed for. It seemed that after so much suffering, God had finally sent me the person I deserved. We dated for two years and he became the only father my youngest child had ever known. He took care of us when we were sick, took me on trips and become a beloved member of the family. After 2 1/2 years together we were married.
While we were not perfect, both of us having hot tempers, and having all the typical conflicts that mixed families do, my husband was never abusive, nor did he ever make us feel physically threatened. About 5 months after we were married he began to act strangley. He was anxious, frustrated and constantly agitated. He started to drink often and become verbally abusive to me when under the influence, often accusing me of cheating. I suspected he might be having an affair himself, since his behavior was changing so drastically while nothing at all had changed on my end.
Ultimately, it culminated in him having some type of phsycotic break at my company Christmas Party. He got very, very drunk and started acting very irratic. We argued in the hallway away from the crowd and he ended up fighting with another employee and hitting me in the process. I called the police and he went to jail. Because of his record, he has spent many years in there. For whatever reason, I have not left. I am still trying to understand what happened. He doesn't remember any of it, which I know is possible. He has been diagnosed Bi-Polar but I did not understand the disease well when we were married or make sure he was adhering to his medication.
He is coming home soon. I have prayed and prayed for God to tell me the right thing to do. He was a wonderful husband and was not a typical wife-batterer. Everyone says I should leave him and not look back. Are they right? What does God want? I want to believe he is a sick-person that can be healed but I don't want to endanger myself or my children either. As a wife, who loves her husband, I don't know what to do.


Answer
Dear Tiffany,

Happy to know that  atleast now you  seek  to know the will of God in this relation! I praise God for  this.

I have  a question for you-

Was it the will of God that  you  dated and married this man?

Is it  the will of God that  you  must suffer   under this man?

Did you spent  adequate time in fasting, praying and  taking guidance from holy men before   dating this  man?

Answer me the  above  questions, I will guide you further.

Kindly   tell me your age , profession and the  age of your children.

Have  a nice day

-Dr.Sunu Sundar