Expert: David Simonsen - 2/3/2009

Question
I am 18 yrs old and i hav been in a relationship for nearly 9 months... I am in love with him. However, before I was in this relationship i was outgoing, my self-esteem was ok, i was self confident... but now i feel like I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend (or wife, as he calls me). Whenever he has a problem and I try to help, he says that i dont try to hard, or that i should know how to fix it quicker. He makes me feel like garbage when he's angry. And calls me lazy. If i can't see him two days in a row he says that he isnt surprised because he's used to me not being able to fight for him two days straight. In the past two months i hav gone from a self confident person to some one who is not sure of herself. I feel lost. I don't know what to do. He hurt me badly (emotionally) and I dont want to talk to him right now because he's just going to make everything my fault and say i'm running away. He makes me feel like i'm nothing.... I want to forgive him, because i want to change... But would he change? what can/should I do?

Answer
He WILL NOT change because you want him to. He likes how he can treat you. I am pretty confused on why you would continue to date someone that treats you this way. Is there a good reason for it? When you date you are supposed to gather information to know if it is a good match with you. This definitely DOES NOT sound like a good match. I would suggest you simply stop taking his calls and stop calling him and move on.
David
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