Expert: David Simonsen - 2/25/2009

Question
I have been out of a an abusive relationship for about a year and a half now. We dated for about 2 yrs. He was a mean guy. There were many time i felt numb from my eyes down from the things he said to me. I felt like a piece of garbage while i was with him and eventually had to unwillingly get a restarining order to get rid of him. It took me a long time of being noticeably mad to think i was finally okay. But it seems to be that i'm really only okay when i am dating someone. When i have no man in my life i feel like no one wants me anymore. My abuser would always tell me no one would want me so now i feel like i have to make more of an effort to make a man like me, like i have to call a guy if i don't hear from him within a week just to feel wanted. I also start to tear up when the word "abuse" is even spoken in my presence. I thought i was over this or at least i should be and i truly get offended when someone makes a joke about of abuse. Is it normal to be this upset still after all this time? Are there any good books to help with this? My family keeps telling me to go to counseling but i just know i'm going to cry and be embarrassed

Answer
Samantha,
It is important to understand that a counselor is trained to help you get through any embarrassment. I would strongly suggest that you seek out a competent therapist. You need to get to the root of this issue. If you don't do it now it will be something that stays with you for life. Get help now so you can really start living life.
David
www.help4life.net