Expert: Nafeesah - 3/31/2009

Question
Hi,
I've know this girl for about a year and a half now. We hit it off very fast and became very close. I think we bonded so quickly because we are both in emotionally abusive relationships, the difference is I am aware of mine and I am taking steps to get out of it. Hers however is different. Her sister is an emotional terrorist. She constantly belittles her, snaps at her for no reason, calls her stupid, always "reminds" her of her down falls
(like being clumsy or over weight or too emotional)... She's just down right mean. My friend admits her sister can be intolerable some times but she refuses to admit how bad it is. The sister is a typical abuser, she'll snap then the "honeymoon" stage comes and it reals my friend right back in and she gets wrapped right around her finger. It's a vicious cycle, and being some what in the same position I REALLY feel for her. She needs to open her eyes.
Is there any way I can help her realize how bad her sister really is with out making her angry and defensive and possibly sacraficing our friend ship? Her sister is literally sucking the life out of her and sabatoging her realationships.....

Answer
This is something your friend needs to talk to her parent(s) about because it's clear that her sister has some problems. If she doesnt speak up now it's only going to get worse and I am sure she's made attempts to blackmail and manipulate the situation so that the parent(s) are not going to help her. I would talk to your friend and tell her to talk to her parents about this.