Expert: Nafeesah - 4/5/2009

Question
Ok where do i start? Im only 16 and i have a bestfriend who is 16 as well but she's turning 17 in a couple of weeks. She's really young but she's in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend of 2 years and 4 days. The problem is he beats her really bad. My friend is aware of the danger she is in but refuse to call the police because he's 23 and can possibly go to jail because she's only 16. He told her if she ever leave he would kill her. She doesnt love him, she's just really scared to leave. When i tried to help her she tells me to just leave it alone. I love her so much and i dont want nothing bad to happen to her. What should i do? So that she is safe and i dont lose my bestfriend?

Answer
This is serious because if this guy is threating your friend's life she needs to get out ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew a girl in the same predicament who was in an abusive relationship and when she broke up with the guy he came to her house after a restraining order was put on him and shot her point blank in her doorway and then committed suicide. She needs to get out of this relationship NOW and as soon as she tells this guy it's over she needs to go and get a restraining order and also inform the court that he's threating her life and to also extend the order so that this guy can't touch her or anyone she knows including you. Abusive people will contact family and friends around the person they're abusing and the only way to stop this guy is to use the legal system.

Your best friend has a choice either she continues to stay in this abusive relationship or get out before this guy either hurts her really bad or kills her. Every 15 seconds a woman is killed by her partner or spouse in an abusive relationship. That's not something to take lightly. If she doesnt love this guy anymore that's the time to leave and if she has to go away for a while to live with family elsewhere to protect her from this creep. She can tell people to leave it alone, but you and her family should not sit there and watch someone mistreat her. It's time to take action because the next time you see her she could be in a casket domestic violence and abusive relationships are nothing to joke at.

As far as I can see she had no business being with someone who's 23 years old. This guy automatically faces statutory rape charges by state law since your friend is under the age of 18. Your friend's parents can still press charges even if she's at the age of consent the fact that she's still a minor under her parents care that's not going to supercede the fact that a crime was committed by state law.