Expert: David Simonsen - 4/15/2009

Question
Hi. My boyfriend and me have been together for a year. When we were first together he was very nice and kind. He could control his temper.But now he actually gets mad at me and freaks out. One time he was going to a job interview, and i didn't say anything to him yet because i was waiting till we go there to say good luck.He was getting out of the truck and i was going to get out, but i was messing around like we always do and i was being a smart pants.I said good luck and he said i you love me you'll get out and give me a hug. I sat there for about 5 seconds. Right when i was going to get out he slammed to door in my face and punched the side of a building.He Oslo said f you when he slammed the door.sometimes when he's mad hell tell me to stop doing whatever is making him mad. Sometimes i don't cause I'm trying to prove a point or something. But when i don't stop and he gets mad he;he'll either press down really hard on my blood veins on my wrist, or pinch my skin till it hurts really bad. I love him so much and i just don't want to end this relationship. He was the most nicest boyfriend i could want when he was nice to me. He still is a nice boyfriend when he is nice to me. But I'm just worried that he is a little abusive.

Answer
Elizabeth,
C'mon now you can't believe that this is an ok relationship for you to be in can you? Dating is supposed to be about gathering information about someone and then deciding if it is a good match. This is NOT a good match. You say you FEEL in love. This isn't love it is control and fear mongering. My worry for you is that you are desperate and thus willing to tolerate this bad behavior. I strongly suggest you move on. Things WILL NOT be getting better anytime soon.
David
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