Expert: Azure - 4/25/2009

Question
I've been married for 41 years. For the last 20 years my husband has had an "emotional" affair with another woman.
Lately, he has become overtly emtionally abusive to me, is
very distanced, and I finally heard the little voice that said, "I can't live like this any longer". I am seeing a counsellor now, and he categorized the marriage as abusive. Based on what I am now reading I think he is right. I am having a very hard time truly integrating this
categorization into my being. I flip/flop through all manner of emotions - anger, sadness, disbelief. What can I do to stop the emotional roller coaster that I am on, and when will it end? I feel that I want to separate but I am
scared, and vulnerable. I just don't know where to turn for some peace in my life.  

Answer
it will begin to subside when you get this guy out of your life; certainly, positive change sometimes extracts a price thru the anxieties you describe, but the prognosis with taking this "medicine" is far better than rejecting it; it's not too late to stop settling for less than you deserve, and to find a relationship based on mutual respect/consideration..