Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 5/24/2009

Question
My ex girlfriend and I dated for 4 months. She ended things, and now I am wondering if she was a control freak ? And if I am better off without her? The relationship started off all good and fun, but by the end of the second month when I was taking her out for supper she looked across the table from me and said "Eat Properly" I thought there was nothing wrong with how I was eating. She did this to me a total of 4 times. She also told me a few times that I needed new shoes. I didn’t think there was nothing wrong with my shoes. Is this normal? She would also give me heck after for things I said that weren’t even that bad. She would also tell me things like, "your still being judged by my family and friends you know,” She even told me once to wash my hands better. It seemed like she was always pecking at me by the end of the relationship. It just seemed very rude and ignorant of her to comment on how I was eating when I was the one taking her out for a nice supper? Are these characteristics of a controlling girlfriend? Is this a personality that she will always have ? I am guessing these are red flags that things wont get better, only worse ?

Answer
Dear Derek

I think you were wise in ending the dating relationship. It sounds like she has parental issues and wants to be your mother. Yes, this is a control issue. Good for you for accepting yourself and not feeling guilty about someone else's criticisms. That shows a lot of maturity. And the controlling would get worse.