Expert: Nafeesah - 5/23/2009

Question
My ex girlfriend and I dated for 4 months. She ended things, and now I am wondering if she was a control freak ? And if I am better off without her? The relationship started off all good and fun, but by the end of the second month when I was taking her out for supper she looked across the table from me and said "Eat Properly" I thought there was nothing wrong with how I was eating. She did this to me a total of 4 times. She also told me a few times that I needed new shoes. I didn’t think there was nothing wrong with my shoes. Is this normal? She would also give me after for things I said that weren’t even that bad. She would also tell me things like, "your still being judged by my family and friends you know,” She even told me once to wash my hands better. It seemed like she was always pecking at me by the end of the relationship. It just seemed very rude and ignorant of her to comment on how I was eating when I was the one taking her out for a nice supper? Are these characteristics of a controlling girlfriend? Is this a personality that she will always have ? I am guessing these are red flags that things wont get better, only worse ?

Answer
Yeah this does sound like a controlling type of situation and the thing is that you have to really consider the fact that this is not normal. The red flags have already gone off and the fact that your girl has been acting like this and good she ended things because you can do better with someone else who's not acting like this. You sound like a really nice guy who deserves a nice girl in his life who's not acting like your mama. There's too many women out there who's heads are on straight and not off the wall like this girl was.