Expert: Eugenia Springer, Ph.D. - 5/27/2009

Question
my 19 year old son is the abuser is constantly verbally abusive intimidating and frightening to myself and my younger children. he screams abuse and filth i end up in tears. how can i break this cycle. have asked him to leave but he laughs in my face

Answer
Sally,

This is serious, and frightening.  He is out of control, and needs to have limits implemented.  Obviously you cannot enforce limits.  Whatever the reason, he has lost respect for you and the home.  It is time, or way past time, to turn to the state for help.  If your son has an emotional disorder they can have your permission to administer whatever care or treatment they deem necessary.  You might not like calling the health services (Mental Health Services) for your son, but your son needs help.  Without your intervention he could hurt any of you in the  home, more than he is inflicting hurt now. And this might not be his intent. Who knows if his behavior is due to a chemical imbalance.  He is crying out for help.  I hope you hear his cry and get the authorities to intervene.

Sometimes, just the right medication administered at the right time, can make a drastic difference in the behavior of someone like your son, who seems to just lose it at times.  I am not saying that your son has a chemical imbalance; I am saying that this is a possibility, therefore he needs to be diagnosed.

I do not know who in your local government you could turn to.  The Health, Social, or Welfare, Services should be able to help you.  Getting the authorities to immediately attend to your son could relieve the members of your family of the distress to which you are now subjected; and have the additional benefit of saving your son from himself.

Blessings.

Dr. ES