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Abusive Relationships/husband's past relationship

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Expert: - 6/1/2009


Question
I AM A 25 YRS OLD MARRIED GIRL, MY PROBLEM IS MY HUSBAND
WAS IN DEEP LOVE WITH A GIRL BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HE HAD
CONTINUOUS PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, HE WANTED TO
MARRY HER BUT IT COULDNT HAPPEN AND SHE GOT MARRIED TO
ANYONE ELSE, I GOT TO KNOW ALL THESE FROM DIARY OF MY
HUSBAND, AFTER KNOWING THIS I M FEELINF LIKE HELL. HOW CAN
I LIVE WITH A PERSON WHO DONT LOVE ME, EVEN HE IS GENTLE
WITH ME, I THINK THAT HE HAD MANY RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THIS
IN PAST, ITS VERY TEASING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM, I DONT KNOW
WITH HOW MANY GIRLS HE SLEPT BEFORE, PLEASE HELP ME HOW
COULD I KNOW ABOUT HIS PAST RELATIONSHIPS?

Answer
Dear Swati,
It can be very difficult to discover something about someone's past that you didn't know, especially when they are so close to you.  Even if he had these relationships in the past, what is it that makes you believe he does not love you?  After all, he married you.  At this point, has he given you any reason to believe he has been unfaithful?  

I think, before you go too far in researching his past, you might want to consider why you need to know about his past relationships.  Do they threaten you?  Do you believe he will continue his relationships with these women in his past?  Please help me to understand.

Blessings,  Kriss

Abusive Relationships

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Kriss Mitchell, M.Ed, CRC, CNHP

Expertise

I can answer questions regarding emotional and physical abuse in dating and marriage situations, however I am unable to give legal advice. Having had firsthand experience in an abusive relationship, I understand the feelings, the questions and the doubts we have as we try to make decisions about how to improve our situations. I am also able to address spiritual concerns regarding staying in or leaving these types of situations.

Experience

Having been a victim of emotional abuse for many years and having family members who were in violent abuse situations, I have personal experience on many levels. I have since gone on to become a professional counselor and work with abused women.

Organizations
American Mental Health Counselors Assn., American Association of Christian Counselors, International Association of Prayer Counselors

Publications
I currently maintain a blog at www.livingwellcc.blogspot.com. I also have links and currently written articles on my website at www.livingwellcc.com. You can also follow me on TWITTER @livingwellcc, or on facebook at Living Well Counseling and Consulting. My writings have appeared in The Good News Northwest and the North Idaho Business Journal

Education/Credentials
Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor, Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Natural Health Professional

Awards and Honors
Board Certified Christian Counselor

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