Expert: Azure - 8/7/2009

Question
Dear Azure,

My ex-boyfriend is trying to restart a relationship with me. I walked away from him a couple of years ago because he was emotionally abusive to me.  He now admits he has a drug problem.  He is prescribed oxycontin by his doctor for back pain, and he realizes he has to find a way to free himself from this addiction.

In the meantime, he is pushing me to resume a relationship with him.  We talk over the phone and he visits me, and I've told him I'm uncomfortable going out with him until he gets his addictions (alcohol too) under control. He's impatient with me.I feel I may be addicted to him as well.  I've made an appointment to begin therapy for myself. I can't afford to keep losing myself to him.

I think sometimes I am wasting my time even talking to him.  Please help.


Answer
you don't need much advice as your insights/decisions have put you on the right track; start the therapy, stay away from him---allow only a very occasional phone call/email, but on YOUR terms, which means he's INFORMED that any pressure/impatience, or even TALK of rekindling, will mean the communication is halted altogether...down the road, get PROOF he's been addiction free for a year prior to even considering any involvement..